


Love From Yours Truly

by PrincessMelodyPark



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bittersweet, Cancer Arc, Character Death, Complete, Depressing, Harry Styles Has a Twin, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 33,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMelodyPark/pseuds/PrincessMelodyPark
Summary: None of them were paying attention to anything else until Niall felt a familiar, strong cold hand resting tightly on his shoulders. Looking up with his eyes wet and blotchy, Niall felt a mix of emotions as he realised who had saved his best friends.AU set in 2015 where Zayn regrets leaving the band, Harry and Louis get into an accident, Niall turns into a bad boy and Liam has a broken heart.
Relationships: Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan & Liam Payne
Kudos: 3





	1. Where it Happened

**Author's Note:**

> Three months after Zayn left the band, Niall couldn't save his best friends but one person could, that happened to be Zayn. Follow the boys as Harry gets horrible news and Niall gives up on life. Liam gives up on Niall and Zayn is just happy to be back. How bad can it get?  
> Niall's point of view, mostly. With Harry and Louis view point written also. This is posted on Wattpad, too. @ShesCalLedJenifaH is my username on there. If you see this anywhere else (highly unlikely) it shouldn't be there.  
> Most importantly, please give me feedback and let me know what you think.

Harry woke up, groaning with a banging headache. How much did he have to drink last night? He couldn't even remember getting back into their hotel room. He turned to move over, but his bed wasn't as spacious as it normally was. What had... He just elbowed something that definitely wasn't his pillow. Frowning adorably, with a tired face, he blinked in confusion when his pillow spoke. 

"Morning Haz"

Harry frown deepened further before his eyes widened in realisation. Lou. He was in bed with Lou. It was at that point he remembered last night. They had just done one of their tours, finishing in Sheffield. It had been a big success for them and also a very big change, getting used to Zayn not being on stage was a lot for Harry to get the idea of. Small mistakes like leaving a space for Zayn when he wasn't there happened a few times and the boys did a good job covering a few times. But, old habits die hard. 

After the last concert finished, the group had gone out drinking and celebrated. 

He had drunk a lot. Was he black out drunk last night?Flashback- 

"Lou, please stay in bed with me. I don't want to be alone." A very drunken Harry slurred, holding Louis's write with puppy eyes. Louis looked like he was tempted. Though he shook his head in response to Harry's question. 

"No, Haz. You're pissed. I don't want to do anything you'll regret in the morning." Louis spoke softly, though he hadn't moved away, unable to stop looking into Harry's eyes. 

"But Lou. I don't want to be alone tonight. I, please?" Harry questioned speaking in the same tone.  
End of Flashback-

"Morning Lou" He whispered back tiredly, rubbing his head back into the pillow. He heard a chuckle from Louis. 

"You drank a lot last night, Haz. Before you complain I did warn you to stop after the fifth Tequila shot." Harry could practically feel the smirk radiating off Louis's face at that. Harry groaned again, turning to face Louis with an adorable pout. 

"No wonder my head hurts" Harry whined childishly running a hand through his long hair that he was growing. He had grown to quite love his long hair and he was glad that Louis had said he'd do it with him. It certainly gave him more confidence. He wouldn't have been able to do it alone. 

"We've got a two day break from the tour before going to London. Though we have an interview today after lunch." Louis reminded Harry. Who groaned again. 

"Who was I with last night? Anything I need to prepare for?" 

Louis actually chuckled lightly at his question which caused Harry to tiredly lift his head up, staring at Louis, maybe getting lost in his friends eyes. He spotted a light blush on Louis's face when he made eye contact, and both didn't want to look away. 

"You were with Ed Sheeran and Lewis Capaldi most of the night. You were a fun drunk last night, Haz. You don't need to worry about anything. You may have started a friendship between Niall and Lewis and yourself and Ed. Be thankful for that. I didn't need to keep an eye on you at all" Louis explained softly though Harry had a feeling Lou still kept an eye on him. Louis was great like that. 

He sighed in relief, at least there hadn't been any drama. There hadn't in general, actually. He had noticed the band was slowly getting back to normal. But they couldn't be like they were before. With Zayn. He closed his eyes and put his head back in the pillow. He missed Zayn, he really did. But he needed to stop thinking about him. Zayn had left them. 

"Good," Harry chuckled lightly. The night was coming back to him, remembering the bits before the fifth shot.

The two got up and Harry looked down to see that he was in his boxers. Had he and Louis done anything last night? He frowned in concern. It wouldn't be the first time they had messed around a bit. When they first discovered feelings for each other... That's a story for another time. 

Harry bit his lip and turned to Louis, who was also in his boxers. And he looked amazingly cute like that, with bed hair, tired eyes and that goofy grin. 

"We didn't do anything last night, Harry. Just a passionate kiss or two. I stopped you before going any further." Louis explained quietly. He then chuckled. "You fell asleep on me too while we were mid conversation" 

Harry laughed. Of course he had. 

"Where are Liam and Niall? Are we meeting them for breakfast?" He questioned. Both Niall and Liam knew he and Lou had feelings for each other. In fact he had a feeling Niall shipped them long before they knew themselves. Zayn knew too... He even covered up their stupidity sometimes in interviews. It was strange without him. 

"We're meeting them for breakfast now ish. We said the times last night shortly before you fell off the stage." Louis said with a cheeky grin. Harry blinked. So that's why his butt ached. 

After they got dressed, Harry chose to wear a bold outfit, feeling good today. He was wearing a very expensive, designer wear blue floral suit, matching trousers and blazer with just a plain white loose shirt. He sorted his hair in a half up half down messy bun look. He also went with a little concealer to cover up any small outbreaks. 

As he left the bathroom he grinned at what Louis was wearing, which was just tight ripped black jeans and a smart dark green button up shirt with a leather jacket. He looked good. Harry blushed a little as he realised he had been staring for too long. Louis grinned warmly at him. 

"You look good, Haz. Really good" Louis said biting his lips as he did. Harry's blush deepened. Even after all these years, the feelings still hadn't gone away. But... They couldn't.. management didn't want them together. They... Love is love. Slowly, he was coming out of his shadowed, management controlled self but it took a lot. A whole lot. But still, Lou and him had to hide. He just didn't understand why... He knew why. But... Why?

"Thank you Lou. So do you. Let's meet Nialler and Li." 

••• 

Niall's PoV 

Niall had woken up with a headache, but it wasn't as bad as he thought it had been. He hadn't been all that drunk either, remembering most of last night he had spent with Lewis, Ed and Harry. He grinned, Harry had been pissed. He wondered how much of last night Harry would actually remember. 

He got up, had a shower and got changed in skinny jeans and a plain dark blue t-shirt, keeping it simple unlike Mr Harold Styles. 

Niall was surprised to hear a knock on his door however, wondering who it could be. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, he preferred it this way and was glad he dyed it when he did. He opened the door to see Liam, wearing similar style to Niall. He didn't seem hungover, probably the only one who had drank and got back at a sensible time last night. Niall smiled warmly, moving out of the way so Liam could enter. 

"Morning, Nialler." Niall bit his lip to stop a blush from coming through. He wasn't completely sure when he had started feeling anything towards Liam, but maybe it started when Zayn left. Liam was there for him and it brought them closer. A lot closer. 

Niall closed the door and nodded with a grin. "Morning, Li. What are you doing here? We're meeting for breakfast soon." Niall said, speaking softly. He had no idea if Liam had any feelings for him considering he was supposedly dating someone he didn't want to name or think about. So he pushed his feelings a side for the good of the band. With how management was dealing with Harry and Louis, he didn't want to go through that either. Even if he was bisexual, not gay. It still scared him to know what everyone would think about him. Especially the fans. 

"Just wanted to see how you were. You seemed to have a good time last night with Lewis." Liam spoke and Niall blinked. Liam did normally check on how he was, but he never usually cared about who he was with. Was he... No. He wasn't jealous. He was just concerned for his friend. And it stung. 

"Ed and Harry were there too. Why didn't you join us?" Niall asked and frowned when Liam looked away, shrugging in response. 

"Seemed like you were happy without me." 

Niall's heart ached and he shook his head with a sad smile. 

"I would have been even happier if you were with us. Yeah, Lewis and Ed are great. But they aren't you." Niall said in a whisper, speaking honestly. He hated lies. He always told the truth. 

Liam looked up, his eyes looking happier than they had been when he first arrived, smiling a gorgeous grin. 

"Let's get going" Niall added, wanting to grab Liam there and then and just kiss him. 

••• 

Louis's POv 

Management, along with the four boys were finally in the interviewer room, with Capital FM, Roman Kemp and the other presenters. 

He wasn't sure what this interview was going to be like or what they were going to be asked but he knew one thing - he was going to sit by Harry's side. 

"We've got One Direction with us today in the studio," Roman started off by staying with a huge contagious grin which couldn't help but make Louis smile too, his leg resting on Harry's making a tingling sensation that Louis was trying to ignore. Niall sat opposite Harry with Liam sitting close next to him. Louis pulled a face at the pair and Niall giggled into the mic which made Roman stop talking to stare at Niall with raised eyebrows. 

"Sorry," Niall said, laughing some more now that he started he couldn't stop. Typically of Niall, of course. Louis thought. "Louis was pulling faces at us." He explained for the benefit of everyone and Louis pulled the innocent act. 

"Me? I would never do such a thing Niall." He said with a grin that gave it all away and Roman laughed. 

"Always a bunch of laughs, aren't you Niall. Let's talk about last night, guys. Louis how was it performing your solo?" Roman asked and Louis grinned, taking a look at Harry who nodded in support, resting a hand on Louis's knee, but moved it pretty quickly in case management saw. 

"It was really great. I felt really good up there with the boys. Everything went so well, I couldn't have done it without them" He said, wanting to say especially without Harry. 

Roman nodded. "Great, that's good to hear. Now I hear there was a bit of an after party afterwards. What was it like Harry being with Ed Sheeran and Lewis Capaldi? How much can you remember?" Roman joked.

Louis could tell he was debating what to say. 

"The bits I remember was really fun and great." Harry replied with a light that set Louis himself off chuckling a little. "I'm kidding, they're great lads and I'd love to be with them more in the future. I woke up with a saw arse this morning..." Harry said and Louis tried not to look at Harry like he had lost the plot, Niall was failing and looked pretty scared, looking between Louis and Harry with a 'what the fuck' face. 

"A what sorry?" Roman questioned Harry trying not to laugh. 

"From when I fell off the stage..." Harry said dramatically immediately calming everyone. Louis hit him lightly on the arm and whispered. 

"You're an idiot." 

Roman saw the exchange and gave them a knowing look without realising it. He quickly changed the subject and spoke to Niall. "It seemed you and Lewis got on like a house on fire. Was there a friendship born last night?" 

Niall blinked a few times and Louis could tell he was a little uncomfortable with the question. He frowned and turned to Liam, who was looking at a spot on the floor. He glanced back at Niall who was smiling now at Roman but it wasn't quite there. Louis then glanced at Harry and they both nodded to each other. He and Harry would have a word with the pair later. 

"He's brilliant, Lewis. Will definitely call him for a drinking sesh, yeah. Though he seemed to struggle a bit with my accent at first..." Niall joked and Roman laughed. Louis was keeping an eye on Liam, who was still looking at the floor but had his hand clenched together in a fist and Louis sighed. God must have decided to sprinkle a bit of gay on the band, it seemed. Hopefully modest won't notice and won't ruin this relationship either. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah he kept making fun of the way I said chance..." Louis laughed at that, Niall pronouncing it 'chonce' as if proving Lewis's point. 

"You know what maybe it's actually us saying it wrong and Niall's the one saying it right" Liam joked laughing a little forcefully, only the boys could tell, it was like he was defending Niall. But he was Liam saying it like it had offended him personally? Hypothesis, almost confirmed. Niall glanced at Liam and chuckled lightly, a bigger smile than usual. 

"Yeah, hear that Lewis. You're saying it wrong." He said and Roman laughed loudly and Louis shook his head in disbelief. His best friends were confusing him. But that was the usual. 

The interview didn't last too long after that. And it didn't take long for the four to walk out of the building, a little tense, but otherwise fine. They could relax once they got back to the hotel. Louis heard Harry sigh deeply and he put an arm around Harry's shoulders in a supportive way and added a supportive smile as well. Harry glanced at Louis with a grateful smile and his eyes full of love. What neither of them would have expected was to hear a shout from their friends and a few fans near by. 

"Watch out!" 

Before either could do anything about it... They were too late. All Louis and Harry knew was darkness. Complete darkness. They knew no more of the world they had once known in the tip of their fingers.


	2. Whole Lot of History

Niall was itching to talk to Liam, the way he had been during the interview and while they were heading out... He just wanted to tell him. So, just as they left the radio station, Niall made sure they were trailing a little behind Harry and Louis. He held him back by placing his hand on Liam's forearm with a look that said 'we need to talk'. Liam didn't say anything but nodded, with a slight smile as he slowed down his pace. 

"What's up Nialler?" Liam questioned and Niall raised his eyebrows and ran a hand through his messy dirty blonde hair that needed dying but he was really too lazy to do anything about it. 

"What was that? During the interview... You..." Niall trialed off quietly and Liam sighed, biting his lip. "I was, well. I was just being me, you know." Niall recognised the nervous chuckle that followed afterwards. Niall's heart skipped a beat or three. He didn't imagine that, did he? Probably. Yeah, Liam doesn't like him. Right? Right. He better not...

"I thought that maybe you were -" Niall couldn't finish and he had missed the look of hope in Liam's eyes as he had started to speak, but Niall's attention was now focused on the other two members of their band. Time went in slow motion for Niall as he shouted,

"Watch out!" As loud as he could, while some fans on the other side of the road were trying to do the same thing, but just as Niall thought the worst, someone ran into the road and knocked the boys back but only really saved them from being seriously injured. Niall and Liam glanced at each other before sprinting to Harry and Louis and the man who had saved them. None of them were paying attention to anything else until Niall felt a familiar, strong cold hand resting tightly on his shoulders. Looking up with his eyes wet and blotchy, Niall felt a mix of emotions as he realised who had saved his best friends. Zayn. 

Niall couldn't hold the tears back as both Harry and Niall were put into a stretcher, they were in bad way. But Niall kept reminding himself it could have been worse. They could have - it could have been a lot worse. He was being held tightly in strong arms and Liam held his wrist and basically hand (but not quite, cameras.) as they followed their friends. Niall had no idea how long they had been in the middle of the road for but it was apparently long enough for paparazzi and fans to see what had happened. Niall, for once, couldn't even respond to them as they climbed into the ambulance and Zayn helped hide and get rid of some of the cameras while Liam was protective of everyone else, closing the doors behind him. As the ambulance drove off, Niall sat on the nearest seat with Zayn still holding him close, while Liam sat opposite Zayn staring at Louis and Harry. 

"Thank you, Zayn." Both Niall and Liam muttered tiredly. Zayn shook his head. "You don't have to say thank you. Not after everything." Zayn responded voice just as quiet, sounding in shock more than anything else. Niall couldn't help but chuckle. It wasn't a happy chuckle... But... He liked to laugh in awkward and uncomfortable situations, he was known for doing that. 

"You can let go of me Zayn, I'm okay now." He wasn't okay, but they didn't need to know that. Zayn didn't make an effort to move and Niall glanced at him, eyes filled with curiosity. 

"I'm not." Zayn's answer made Niall go silent and glance at Liam, who was already looking at him. Niall couldn't help a blush as he looked down to the floor. His tears were falling freely now but he felt safe. But this wasn't about him, he was more concerned about Harry and Louis. 

A few hours later and the fandom, along with their management and close friends and family all new of what had happened earlier that day. The three boys remaining still had not left the hospital, each one sitting on the floor in the private wing that both Harry and Louis were in. Niall was looking to see what management had told the world. "After the interview one direction were heading back to their hotel when Harry and Louis stepped out without concentrating on what was in front of them. Niall Horan tried his best to warn them and the one who saved the two best friends was none other than Zayn Malik, former member of One Direction. We will update you of their progress, but Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are in a bad way. We don't know how they will be once they wake up." 

Niall couldn't take much more and gave the article to Zayn and Liam, who shared the phone and read it too. The boys were unconscious and neither looked to be waking up any time soon. That's what scared Niall. No, what scared Niall was the fact the Doctor warned them that they might suffer from memory loss. Niall sighed deeply and scratched his arm, it wasn't itchy... He just... But before he could do any real damage, he felt a hand hold his and Niall glanced to see Liam staring at the floor. Niall took his chance and moved his hand so they were holding hands tightly and after a while, Niall realised Liam hadn't let go. 

"How are you holding up?" Niall asked after a few moments of silence and Liam shrugged his shoulders in a depressed way. 

"About the same as you, Nialler." He replied and Niall sighed, nodding. "We need to talk to Zayn." Niall said and Liam raised his eyebrows and side glanced to Niall with a questioning look. "He saved our best friends, our band. Why was he there in the first place? Does this mean he regrets leaving?" Niall was full of questions and Liam managed a small smile. But it wasn't Liam who answered, though Liam did give Niall's hand a tight squeeze. 

"Of course I regret leaving. We were all brothers, best friends. I... I was going to talk to you all before I saw Louis and Harry, I couldn't just let them..." Zayn trailed off with a sniff, wiping his eyes as he stood and he smiled slightly at the embrace Liam and Niall were in. Niall blushed and looked towards Louis. Looking pale as a ghost and his tired dark under eye circles were getting worse. Harry looked similar, but if possible slightly worse. When Niall finally focused back to Zayn, he was sitting down leaning on a chair leg opposite them. 

"I wanted to tell you the actual story, not the story I said to the world." This made Niall frown deeply. The actual story... What did that mean? It only took a few minutes when Niall's brain finally caught up with him. "Management?" Niall questioned in a whisper. 

At Zayn's nod of confirmation, Niall sighed heavily and shook his head. Not in disbelief, but in disappointment. They had to do something about this. Or more like, he had to do something about this. If he was every going to come out, if he and Liam were ever going to... They needed to do something about management. If Harry and Louis have lost their memories, how will they ever come back from this? Would they even remember who he was? Who they were to the band? Would this be the end of their story? 

"Boys, Louis is asking for his Mother." Harry's Mum, Anne spoke and they all looked up at her with shocked and surprised faces. It was clear none of them thought either would be awake so soon. "I told him she was on her way, she is stuck in traffic. He'd like to speak to you, Liam." She spoke softly and Liam nodded, getting up but making sure that their hands were the last to part, treasuring the moment. He slowly went with Anna, while Niall banged his head on the wall behind him. Whether on purpose, or not. Only he would know. He felt movement and Zayn was now sitting next to him. 

"Yes, management. Niall, don't let them stop you from being yourself. I made that mistake and I don't want you to. I'm here now and I don't plan on leaving again till I know you are all okay. Properly okay, not pretending to be okay, mind." Zayn spoke and this time Niall's chuckle was genuine and he smiled gratefully at Zayn, with an appreciative look in his eyes. 

"Good to have you back, Zayney."


	3. What A Feeling

Harry called for Niall half an hour after Louis had asked for Liam. As Niall had to calm himself before he entered, he paced a little bit before going in. Harry had his bed lifted, his laptop on his lap playing a track, Niall recognised it to be "Can't Help Falling in Love". He bit his lip and went to Harry's side, sitting in the chair that was next to him. 

"Harry, I'm sorry. I should have -" Niall started and Harry glanced at him with his eyes watering, a sad smile. Niall stopped talking, all he wanted to do was be there for his best friend, but what if... What if he didn't even know who he was? What then? More importantly, what if he didn't know who Louis was? 

"Nialler, I am fine. I'm... Well. When I say fine -" It was clear to Niall that it was hard for Harry to say what was wrong. He had that face on. Niall patted his hand on Harry's shoulder in a supportive way. "You can tell me, Harry. You haven't lost your memory have you? If you have..." He trailed off and Harry shook his head, with a sad smile but a smile none the less. Niall would only relax once he knew what was wrong. Only then. 

"Niall, I hit the ground pretty hard and lost a lot of blood internally. They did a scan," Harry stopped talking, sniffing and rubbing his eyes and Niall's eyes himself were watering too. After a long few moments, Harry spoke again. "I have stage three cancer, I... Perhaps a year?" He questioned uncertainly. 

Niall couldn't even think straight, let alone see. All he saw was the room spinning, the tears falling down his face falling faster than ever, he only could tell when he licked his lips and could taste the salty tear drops. He could hear Harry calling his name but it wasn't very clear. Nothing was clear. He couldn't breathe. Before he felt like he was going to collapse, someone took his hand tightly in his which just felt so right and wrapped an arm round him in a comforting way, Niall rested his head on their shoulder and cried even more. He couldn't take the emotions. He couldn't. "Sorry, Haz. I can't-" Niall tried to speak hoping Harry understood and a voice that sounded so pure and kind spoke to him. 

"He knows. Niall, breathe. Just do that for me, squeeze my hand if you can hear me." Niall squeezed his hand as tight as he could, which later he would hear wasn't very tight, and started to breath in and out slowly, but it started to help. He didn't even know they had moved from the wing and back into their private waiting area until he finally could see again and could breath at a roughly normal pace. Moving his head he looked up to see who had brought him out of there and he managed a smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes as he saw it was Liam. He moved his head back to a more comfy position and groaned. 

"I'm an idiot." He declared unhappily. 

What he didn't see was Liam's immediate frown and protective glance, pulling him closer to him. "No, you're not, Niall." He spoke authoritatively, determined to prove him wrong. 

"My best friend told me he was going to die and what did I do? Have an anxiety attack. Great, yeah. That's what you're meant to do. No, what you're meant to do is tell them you love them and you'll be there no matter what, that -" Niall's rant was cut short when Liam covered his mouth with his spare hand which made Niall send a death glare directly in Liam's eyes. 

"Niall, he called for me because he couldn't get out of his bed and hug you himself. He knew what you wanted to say." Liam spoke stroking Niall's hair which was actually quite calming for Niall. Liam removed his hand from Niall's mouth who stayed silent, not knowing what to say. 

"Louis, how's he?" He questioned after a few moments. Liam squeezed his hand tightly again and Niall squeezed his hand right back. Preparing for the worst, Niall closed his eyes as he waited for Liam to speak. 

"He's okay, he'll be in a lot of pain for a few days recovering, but overall, physically he is fine." Liam spoke softly and Niall actually sighed in relief, though the feeling didn't last long. Frowning, he glanced at Liam. 

"What about, does he know -" At the nod, Niall buried his head into Liam's shoulder. It was all too much. Just too much. He then got his phone out, which was full of notifications and voicemails from various close friends and family members. Ignoring all that, Niall opened Instagram and nudged Liam who rolled his eyes. "I really don't think this is the time..." Niall ignored him and put on a smile for the fans as he started a live. It was only then he realised just how bad they both looked. Both with red blotchy eyes and pink patches in their cheeks. Niall rubbed his eyes with his spare hand and made it so the fans couldn't quite see that Liam and himself were in a romantic embrace, but didn't quite make an effort to really hide it either. 

Screw management. He had only had the live up for a few minutes and there were already ten thousand people watching him, all asking what happened and if everyone was okay. That they were there for them. Even Capaldi and Sheeran were posting in the live wishing they were all well. None of them knew... He couldn't tell them without Harry's permission so he nervously chuckled. 

"So er, what a morning." Niall started but he didn't have the energy to continue. So Liam did, but his heart wasn't quite in it. "Hey. We're okay, Louis and Harry are awake. We can't give you much more news than that, not yet -" 

Niall was focusing on reading the comments he didn't see Zayn join them, walking out from Harry's wing and he too put on a smile for the fans, but his eyes and facial expression gave away what they were all feeling like. "Guess who's back, hey, Zayn?" Liam said with a grin, also deciding to screw management. 

Zayn wrapped an arm around Liam and Niall and smiled, the fan count by now had gone to 250k watching live. "We're bringing sexy back" Zayn said for his entrance and Niall managed a small chuckle and he rested his head on Liam's shoulder looking down. All the comments were positive apart from one or two. 

"That's right, our brother is back. We'll keep you updated, but we're going to have to leave you. Thanks for all the kind messages." Liam carried on, stroking Niall's shoulder supportively. "They're sending a lot of love to you Nialler." Liam whispered in Niall's ear and Niall smiled a small smile hearing that. 

"It's not me you should be sending love to, guys. Thank you, we just wanted to say we love you all and please be patient. Keep cheerful, if you're feeling sad, find someone to lean on." Niall spoke and after a moment more of reading the comments, he stopped the live with a deep sigh. 

"I'm sorry, I thought I could do it. I didn't want to say about Harry, I wasn't going to. I just..." 

"You care about the fans, Nialler. That's why you updated them." Zayn finished for him and Niall nodded once. 

"You know they are going to start questioning you and Liam." It was a statement, not a question. Niall snuggled closer to Liam, not caring that they hadn't even talked about their feelings. They hadn't talked about it but actions spoke louder than words. Niall was done. He didn't want any regrets. For any of them. 

"Let them." Niall said determinedly and Liam looked at Niall in surprise, with an impressed look in his eyes. 

"Yeah, agreed. Let's rebel. We want Harry to be the happiest he's been, we're going to change a few things." Liam agreed with a grin and Zayn raised his eyebrows and shook his head in disbelief. 

"Whatever you have planned, boys. I'm all in." Zayn spoke with a firm nod. 

When Liam's phone started ringing he looked at Niall and Zayn with a devious glance. "Good because we have to deal with management. Who wants to answe -" 

Niall took Liam's phone and hang up on them. Liam couldn't look more proud at the smirk on Niall's face as he did. 

"No one. Let them come here." Niall said dramatically. 


	4. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's POV, also mentions of depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder at the end of the chapter.

When Louis woke from the accident all he could remember was seeing Harry's head hit the ground as Harry held onto himself to move him out out the way from contact. Harry had saved him before Zayn saved them too. He should be going through what Harry was going through. It should be him. Harry didn't have to save him. He didn't have to take the hit for him. Yet he did. It's times like these that... 

Louis reached for his trouser pockets and and sighed with relief when he felt his ring box was still there. Oh, he wasn't going to propose, not yet, at least. No, this was a promise ring. They were seeing each other, they were only seeing each other, they just couldn't tell anyone. Leaving hints for the fans was always fun, but, Louis missed how it was before... Before ... Everything got ruined. Their life that was private from before X factor and during, ish but they could be more open. When people started to catch on, that's when it went down hill. Louis treasured every moment of those memories and he was all but thankful neither of them suffered from memory loss. Imagine what hell that would have been. 

"Louis?" He recognised Liam's voice and he smiled at his best friend and brother in all but blood. Wiping his eyes, he hadn't realised he had been crying until a drop landed on his arm. 

"Alright mate?" Louis questioned and Liam shook his head in disbelief. "It's not me you should be asking." Liam responded taking seat by Louis' bed. Louis sighed and nodded. Slowly he got out his promise ring and placed it to the side of him. As Liam was about to speak Louis stopped him. 

"Haz is... He hasn't got long. This is a promise ring I was going to give him, been in my pocket for about a year or two. Now, I don't think we should hide. None of us should have to hide." Louis' accent was coming of strong and Liam smiled, nodding in agreement not even having to think about it. 

"I was thinking the same and I think Niall was as well. For the record, you should do whatever you want to." Louis smiled, not quite reaching his eyes but he was grateful. Grateful for his best friends. Most importantly grateful for Harry. 

"Thanks and for the record, you should listen to your own advice." Louis said jokingly, but mostly being serious. He and Harry were going to have a word with both Niall and Liam but, well. They couldn't. "And Zayn, we should forgive and not forget. If he's back, if he regrets leaving. If there's a hidden reason, just. Let him. We need him. We're not a group without him." Louis spoke softly and Liam nodded in understanding. 

"Well, we did well without him. But I agree. I'll pass that on." Liam spoke placing a supportive hand on Louis' shoulder. Nodding once more neither needed to say anything else. As Liam was about to speak, Louis froze when he heard a desperate cry of "Liam!" From Harry's part of the wing and with one last look at Louis, Liam left without a second thought. 

Louis sighed heavily, his eyes deep in concern. Since Liam left with the half the curtain still open, Louis had a small view of what was going on. After what felt like a long minute, Louis saw Liam holding Niall tightly and Niall who couldn't even stand by himself and Louis saw the pain in his eyes. Louis sniffed, wiping his eyes and sat up a little bit or as much as he could in the hospital bed. Niall had just found out, then. He wasn't sure how he would take it, but, seeing him leaning entirely on Liam... Well. 

He didn't have to worry for long, not that he showed that because his phone when ping and that only happened to a few people so when he checked his phone he saw Niall was live on Instagram and Louis rolled his eyes. Of course. 

So, opening the live he was surprised to see Niall and Liam sitting so close, or maybe he shouldn't be so surprised. His heart ached when he saw how bad both boys were looking, they both looked like shit. Niall had clearly been crying and they were both trying to make it seem like they were really okay. As Louis read the comments, the fans could tell they were no where near okay. Louis smiled a little when Liam took over from Niall as he had been struggling to talk, hiding his head into Liam's shoulder Louis just knew that the fans were going to talk. 

But he was just as surprised as his two best friends were when Zayn made an entrance and the number of fans on the live went up so fast Louis could blink and it would be up by a thousand. Not that Louis cared about that. He smiled a disbelieving smile when Zayn said he was back. They were all going to be in deep shit when management would finally find them but did Louis care? No. 

Louis sent a row of green hearts in response to the live and closed it down as it was clear nothing more was going to be said. He was glad he knew Niall was fine. As fine as he could be, any way. But as Louis closed his phone the phone rang. Looking, he saw it was Ed ringing. Louis smiled and waited a moment before answering. 

"Hey mate. Good drinking sesh last night." Louis said putting on that he was fine. He did that all the time. 

"Louis, you don't need to hide that from me. All I want to know is are you all okay? Niall and the others looked like shit." Ed said and Louis chuckled lightly. He knew Harry wouldn't want him saying what was truly up until he had accepted it himself. So Louis had no problem with holding the truth. 

"We're fine. Honestly, it's just a bit of a shook, y'know?" Louis replied. "Oh and you should expect a few changes from us as a band. Good changes in our eyes, in management, not so much." Louis warned him with a cheeky grin that he knew Ed couldn't see, though he heard a light laugh on the other end of the phone. 

"About time, Louis. About damn time. Well, let me know if you need me. I'm sure if we did a colab that the music industry would just collapse into shock." Ed spoke and Louis managed a chuckle. 

"Definitely, thanks for checking in, mate." Louis said, "Speak to you soon." 

They hang up just when Zayn entered. Louis bit his lip and did a gesture for him to sit down on the chair Liam was previously sitting on. 

"Louis -" Zayn started and Louis put his hand up to stop him from saying anything else, giving a 'do not mess with me' look. 

"The true, non modest story of why you left. Don't leave anything out." Louis was not messing around and with just one nod from Zayn, he took a moment before speaking again. 

"Since last year I wasn't sure if being in the band was where I wanted to be. I, I was diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety. Later depression." Zayn took a breather and Louis' eyes widened. He knew about the anxiety but he had no idea about the other two. Zayn never mentioned that to them before. 

"I let modest manipulate my decisions, I trusted them a bit too much because I felt like I couldn't tell you guys. Then, I... I attempted..." Zayn shook his head, not being able to say it but Louis could only guess. Zayn went through all of that without telling them? What happened to being brothers? Why couldn't he... Louis focused back on Zayn who had watery eyes. 

"They kept on suggesting I should leave. I should take a break. I shouldn't return. It wasn't obvious, but they were sneaky about their suggestions and I could barely concentrate on what was real and what wasn't. In the end, I gave up. I went. Big mistake number one." Zayn took another breather and just as he was about to speak Louis placed a hand on Zayn's leg and patted him in a supportive, protective way. 

"Zayn, you don't have to tell me any more. I know the rest. Just, this time round. Trust us more. We would have tried to help, we would have been there every step of the way. That's what we're going to be doing this time, right?" Louis spoke affirmatively. At Zayn's nod, Louis took a sit back, sighing. 

"I'm not leaving this time, Louis. I'm going to be here for Harry, for you. For Liam and Niall. Until you're all okay. Until you can be who you are without fear." Zayn said determinedly and Louis smiled a true smile.

"You know, you'd look good in a pink suit." Louis responded with amusement in his eyes and Zayn sat there with his mouth open partly in shock. Louis started laughing, though had to stop after a few moments as his chest was hurting and he wasn't quite better. 

When Zayn stuck his tongue out at Louis, Louis shook his head, his grin still there. He didn't know what the future had in store for them, but he hoped they would make it. 

Especially, Harry. 


	5. A.M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Niall's POV.

It had been three days. They were still in the hospital. Niall didn't plan on leaving any time soon and though Louis was better, Harry was still being checked on and having scans done. A lot had happened in the last three days. He had messed around with modest, constantly by posting old images of the group and of Louis and Harry. Why? Because he wants them to be free. He wants them all to be able to do what they want and love who they want. It shouldn't feel like... Like they can't.

But, that didn't mean he wasn't a little appreciative of management. They managed to sort something out last minute by phone call with all of the boys. He was surprised they let them do it. But then again, it will probably be booked out in seconds. That's probably why they let them. 

He also had a wardrobe change with Zayn's help. Taking a break from the hospital, he had gone to the stores Zayn and Harry usually shop at and switched up his style. Not by much, but it was a few noticeable changes. Zayn had tried to suggest a tattoo, but Niall definitely wasn't ready for that just yet. Maybe one day. Zayn, Liam and Niall had also witnessed Louis giving Harry the promise ring and they had never seen the pair so happy. So carefree. Niall managed to sneak a picture, but he'd only post it once he got the okay from Louis and Harry. 

Now, the three of them were doing a radio interview again. Apparently the live wasn't enough for the world and they wanted more information. Talking to Harry before they left, Harry definitely didn't want people to find out what he was going through. Not yet. He wanted to do a song about it, or do a one off concert with them all together. Harry couldn't tell the world by himself. Niall didn't blame him. 

So, here Niall was wearing smart blue trousers with a white and blue striped button up shirt. His hair in a bit of a mess and wearing a golden sun necklace that Liam had got him with the numbers 28 and 3 together. Louis and Harry's number, with his and Liam's... Date. They had kissed during the time at the hospital, on the second day at two minutes past three in the morning. Niall would never forget it. Even if things didn't work out, he would remember. 

Liam was wearing his usual outfit and wore plain black jeans and a plain white t-shirt with a bomber jacket. Zayn's outfit, on the other hand. He was wearing black jeans too but a pink button up shirt and a long dark blue coat. Niall had a feeling Louis' advice was something to do with it. As they sat down, Niall and Liam sat close to each other and Zayn had to sit opposite. The trio still looked a bit shit, the faces gave it away and none of them could be bothered for make up. None of them cared, however. Too busy concerned for Harry. 

"We've got a third of one direction with us today." Roman spoke and Niall bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair while scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Modest, for once, weren't with them in the interview, in fact, it was just them. Niall didn't know whether to be concerned or relieved. Were modest planning something? 

"We've got a few questions, I'm sure you know what they are." One of the female presenters spoke with a small smile. Niall let out a breath and rested his leg onto Liam's who rested his hand on Niall's thigh. 

"First of all, Zayn. How does it feel to be back?" Niall glanced at Zayn, who had a genuine smile on his face as he answered the question. 

"Great. It feels great to be back. Like I've come home from a long time away." Zayn responded and Niall couldn't help but smile at the answer. Roman was grinning too. It was actually a pretty calming atmosphere and Niall felt so comfortable with Liam (and Zayn) by his side. Without Modest, Niall was planning to be himself. That meant one thing. Laughter. 

"I for one am really happy all five are back together. But, there is another question the fans are wanting to know. Niall, you did a live three days ago. Announcing that everyone was okay. Since then we've heard nothing from Harry and Louis. What's happening there?" The female presenter asked and Niall frowned a little as he tried to think of how to reply. 

"Louis is better, Harry is awake. They're both as fine as they can be considering what they went through." Niall spoke voice not hiding his concern. Liam then continued for Niall's benefit, noticing his eyes starting to water. "As we said, we're all fine. It's been a shock." 

Roman then took over the questioning. "I can imagine. The fans started a hashtag which went world wide in a matter of minutes. #greenhearts. What does that mean, I'd ask Louis, but he isn't here." Roman asked with a knowing look to the boys and Niall's eyes couldn't hide the panic. Larry. Roman was talking about their Larry fans. Though Niall relaxed slightly, at least none of them had caught on to 'Niam'. 

"I think, if you really think about it, you will figure it out." Niall spoke. What, Modest weren't here. Not his fault. Roman smirked and Niall smirked right back, even adding a wink. 

"Speaking of figuring it out," Roman continued and Niall gave him a warning glare which Roman took no notice of. Clearly he wasn't the only one taking advantage that management wasn't there. "The second hashtag going round was in fact 'Larry and Niam forever'. What can you confirm, if anything?" Roman questioned and Niall couldn't even hide his blush or not laugh. He laughed loudly and put his hand in Liam's, who squeezed his hand tightly in response. That was all the confidence Niall needed. 

"I can neither confirm nor deny any rumours sent from our fans." Niall said not being able to keep a straight face while speaking. 

"Just touch your hair if it's true." Roman joked which set all three of them laughing. Zayn did it first and pretended to sort out his hair and Liam then joined in, "Sorry, I just had something in my hair. Nialler, your hair is a mess." Liam said and after pretending to get something out of his own hair Liam then messed up Niall's hair even more before taking his time to sort out the mess. Niall loved the feeling of Liam's hands in his hair and didn't want him to stop. But, moments like these couldn't last forever. 

"Anywayyy" Roman said after a few minutes and Niall was still giggling to himself. Have fun trying to cover that up, management. 

"Will there be any more tours or are you still going on hiatus?" The female presenter asked and both Niall and Liam looked at Zayn. They had prepared this question with Harry and Louis before they left. Wanting to make Harry's last year the best it could be, they were going to have two or three random concerts in different major cities that hold a special place in Harry's heart. They were writing an album but they'd be writing one more dedicated to Harry. Afterwards, they'd then decide about going on hiatus. It wouldn't be the same without Harry, that's all they knew. 

"We've decided there'll be 7 concerts, at 7 cities. Calling the tour "Love from yours truly" Zayn spoke and Niall bit his lip nervously. Doing this tour, it could be their last together. He wanted to make it the most memorable. For all of them. 

Roman started playing 'Steal My Girl' and Niall grinned brightly, "Everyone hold onto your Twitter. Directioners are going to break the internet with this news." Roman said and Niall laughed. 

"I'll start it of," Niall spoke getting his phone out, he opened up Twitter and typed out "#lovefromyourstruly" with blue and green hearts. "Sent, come on, directioners. Let's see you do your magic." Niall definitely shouldn't be encouraging this but he didn't care. 

What Niall, Liam and Zayn didn't know at that moment, was what management were truly up to. Back in the hospital... The decisions Harry and Louis make in this moment is something every member of one direction would regret and feel in just a years time.


	6. If I could Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's POV.

Flashback - 

Louis had finally managed to get out of bed and the first thing he did was grab his promise ring and made his way to the boys, who had been sleeping, Zayn in one of the chairs and Liam and Niall were looking cute lying together wrapped in their own jackets. He nudged them awake and nodded them to go over to Harry's part of the wing. Louis couldn't contain his excitement and the smile on his face showed. Sleepily, the four boys walked into Harry's wing and closed the curtains. They then played '18' while waking Harry up. Who clearly just wanted to sleep. But seeing all of them there at a few minutes to midnight, Harry must have realised it was important so he tried his best to sit up. It wasn't that Harry was restricted in movement, it was because of the amount of blood he had lost he had been adviced to take it easy and not do a lot until the doctors felt like he could leave the hospital. Until then, bed rest. 

Louis was wearing his smart clothes, looking his best. He then got on one knee and took out the promise ring. He couldn't imagine the look on Harry's face but he was going to cry of happy tears, Louis hoped. "Harry Edward Styles. This is a promise ring. My promise to always be there for you. I will always love you, I always have. I should have given this to you sooner..." Louis didn't finish as Harry leaned over to kiss Louis passionately. 

"If you were proposing I would say yes right now, Lou." Harry spoke softly and tiredly after a few moments, a true, happy smile as he wrapped his arms round Louis' neck and Louis couldn't hold back the tears. He was crying in a cool way, okay? 

"How's the 28th of next month sound, Haz?" Louis questioned back with a light chuckle and Harry kissed Louis' forehead, closing his eyes and taking the moment in. "Perfect, Lou." 

The song "All of me" by John Legend started playing which made them both chuckle and start to kiss again. Holding in the moment. 

\- End of flashback

"Louis! Do you understand?" Simon got his atten back and Louis wiped his eyes, his hand hovering over a contract that needed signing. Louis had a beautiful moment, but nothing could last forever. He and Harry couldn't last forever. Not unless... Unless Harry was free. He could do what he wanted. Louis would make that sacrifice for his boyfriend. For the band. For Liam and Niall. For Zayn. 

Could he...? What if this was a mistake? What if there was something else in this contract that he hadn't read? He went over the document and in small print, it said, "Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles will have to hide their relationship for another two years. Harry Styles will be seen as free from this, but Louis is still with Eleanor." Louis didn't need to read anything else, did Simon really think either of them would sign this? 

"I understand, Simon. I understand that you can fuck yourself!" Louis said shoving the paper away from him. Simon sighed and shook his head. 

"Then One Direction will go on hiatus in a year, regardless with what happens to Harry. Do you want that? Wouldn't Harry want to put the band first?" Simon countered and Louis glared. He felt trapped. The only person he wanted to talk to right now was Harry. Shaking, Louis got up and walked over to Harry's part of the wing.

He saw Harry signing the paper. Louis tried his best to run but couldn't quite. "Harry, no! Why?" Louis questioned trying not to cry. 

"You and the boys are free to do as you want. I'm sorry Lou. They, they said we could be together if, if... We went on hiatus. In a year, then everyone will be free. They won't have to listen to management. We won't have to hide. We won't have to not be ourselves." Harry spoke and Louis didn't even wipe his tears. He hugged Harry tightly. 

"No, they're lying. They said to me we'd still have to hide. Even if we signed the contract, I still have to be with Eleanor in public. All I wanted was for you to be happy!" Louis cried and Harry's tears went on Louis shirt and neck as he cried too. 

"I'm sorry, Lou. I care about freedom for you guys too. If, if we decide to go on hiatus, we can always return." Though Louis had a feeling if the boys split it would be too much hurt that they wouldn't be able to and if Harry... If Harry wasn't with them they wouldn't want to return anyway. Louis continued to stroke Harry's curly long hair and sniffed, shaking his head. 

"I can't believe they got to us. Just when the rest weren't here. They let the others think they got away with it. But they chose to get us at our weakest." Louis break down toward the end, holding his Harry tightly. 

What neither of them saw, was Simon's face and the smirk. He left the hospital with papers in hand, faking Louis' signature as he did. Louis called Niall. He had to speak to him. 

After a few rings, Niall picked up. 

"Lou-" 

"One year." Louis hung up before Niall could even reply. Harry started to sing into Louis' ear. It was a song he hadn't heard before. But it brought a true smile to Louis's face. He always loved to hear Harry sing, even after all these years. It made no difference and Louis had tried to go to every single concert where Harry sang at, even if they weren't allowed to. It was quite fun rebelling and Louis would do it again and again in a heartbeat. When Harry had finished, Louis looked up at his love. 

"That was beautiful, what are you calling it?" 

"If I could Fly" Harry whispered with a tear rolling down his cheek.


	7. Green Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's POV. Self harm warning towards the end of the chapter, I've highlighted it so you can skip if you need to.

"One year." 

Niall didn't get a chance to speak before Louis hung up. They were in a taxi on the way back to the hospital, he was sat in the middle while Liam was sat to his left and Zayn to his right. Niall glanced at Liam first with a very concerned look on his face. Liam must not have seen at first because he smiled as he felt eyes on him and put a hand on Niall's thigh. "Who was that?" 

Niall bit his lip and shook his head, sniffing. "I've got a bad feeling we've just made things worse." Niall's voice was just above a whisper which made both Liam and Zayn look at him in surprise and worry. 

"Wha- " Zayn started to say and Niall rubbed his eyes, stopping them from crying. Or trying to. 

"Louis phoned me, said one year, then hung up." Niall said sighing deeply, looking down to a particular spot on his shoes. Liam took Niall's hand and held it tightly, making Niall glance up, a sad expression on his face. 

"Well then, Nialler. Let's make it the best year ever." Liam said determinedly and Niall's eyes shone brightly, biting his bottom lip nervously and he nodded, still not having a lot of confidence but Liam was helping. 

"Okay, okay." Niall whispered trying to convince himself more than anyone else. Niall got lost into Liam's eye and both started to lean in without realising. Niall was breathing heavily and a faint blush appeared on his face as they were inches away from each others lips. 

"I say the first song we play in Paris is 18." Zayn said all of a sudden and Niall groaned in disappointment, rolling his eyes and rested his head on Liam's shoulder. Liam glared at Zayn which made Niall chuckle lightly as he too glanced at Zayn, who looked at the pair as innocently as he could. 

"What, do I have something on my face?" 

A half hour later they arrived back in the hospital and Niall could tell something was wrong when Louis wasn't in his part of the wing, the tables and chairs flipped upside down and paper scrunched into balls everywhere, with ink splattered around the hospital floor. As Niall, Zayn and Liam walked into Harry's part of the wing they gasped. Harry was asleep, looking as pale as a sheet with Louis holding onto Harry crying. Ink stain on his fingers and clothes. 

Zayn coughed quietly as to not wake up Harry and Louis glanced up, saw the boys and anger shone in his eyes. Niall took a few steps back hiding between Zayn and Liam, Liam naturally stood in a protective stance. When Louis moved gently as he could away from Harry to not wake his boyfriend up, he pointed at the three of them individually, anger back and pointed to the exit leading first. 

Liam took Niall's hand as they followed, the four of them not uttering a word until they were as far from Harry as possible, in Louis's eyes, Niall thought. All he knew was the three of them were in deep shit. It was nice being alive. Louis glared at them all, mouth opening to speak and Niall closed his eyes and waited. 

"You left us!" Louis whisper shouted angrily. To be honest, that wasn't at all what Niall was expecting to hear. Niall stood, mouth a gape, not knowing what to say. Zayn was about to respond, but Louis wasn't done. 

"They knew you three would go to the interview and leave Harry and I by ourselves! You fell straight into their plan and I fucking hate, hate fucking Simon looser Cowell!!" Louis' Doncaster accent was coming off very strong. Louis then punched the nearest wall and Zayn sprinted to him and the next time Louis attempted to hit the wall, Zayn used his muscles to stop him. 

"Louis, just breath for a minute." Zayn spoke holding him tightly, not letting go and Louis struggled for a solid few minutes before giving up. Zayn still didn't move, not falling for that trick.

"What did you mean, one year, Louis?" Liam was brave enough to speak, Niall still couldn't get his mouth to form words. 

"We're going on hiatus in one year and that will be the end of one direction because Harry will be.... Harry... He'll be..." Louis pushed Zayn away from him with all his strength, which was apparently, quite a lot as Zayn nearly stumbled into him and Liam. Louis crouched down into a ball, knees tugged to his head, Niall heard sniffs every so often and his heart ached. He hated seeing Louis so broken. It was then Niall's brain finally caught up to him and his eyes started stinging with tears and the pain that he felt in his heart was unbearable. Niall collapsed and let go of Liam's hand as he fell heavily onto the hospital floor. 

Harry will be dead in a year. That's why Louis had said a year. They had one year to be one direction because a certain someone in their management (Niall knew exactly who, even if he knew everyone in management knew) knew Harry wouldn't be alive to carry the band on. They knew the rest of them wouldn't continue without Harry. They wouldn't even dream of it. Think of it.   
(**Self harm warning, skip if too much) 

Niall rubbed his eyes and started to scratch his wrist, lower arm again. This time no one was there to stop him. He scratched and scratched until he knew it was bleeding and he couldn't stop. He needed to feel the pain that Harry was going to feel. That they were all going to feel. Niall couldn't feel anything yet, even if there was blood spread through his arm and on the floor, he couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel anything. (**End)

"Niall!" He heard a cry and Niall's thoughts and head froze, he glanced at his arm with a bit more clearer vision and visibly winced. He might not have been able to feel the pain a few moments ago but he certainly could now. The scratches were pretty deep and... Niall couldn't look. Instead, he used all his courage to look at who cried for his name and in his surprise it was Harry. 

Niall tried getting up and used his other arm as leverage and only just managed to get up as Harry quickly walked over to hug him. "Harry, you're meant to be in bed!" 

He felt Harry shake his head through his shoulder and Niall frowned concerned. "The others couldn't knock you out of... They tried everything and you weren't paying attention. Liam ran all the way to me as I was wondering the corridor looking for you all. Ni, you need to see a nurse, doctor. The wounds could get infected, Ni" Harry was rambling but he didn't sound too good. He ran out of breath easily. 

Niall sighed heavily and nodded once. "I.. okay. Sorry. I wasn't, I didn't mean to... Fuck my arm hurts Harry" Niall hissed out in pain having ticket go of the hug and Harry took his hand and dragged him back to their private wing. He was in a bit of a daze and was wincing and grimacing every time his arm stung badly. He was using his other hand to clutch onto Harry, dry tear stains on his face as they entered. 

He heard a loud gasp which was quickly covered when he walked closer to the boys and Niall looked down, embarrassed and ashamed. The fact that none of them could get his attention while he... He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it. He bit his lip nervously as Harry stopped walking and Niall glanced Harry's way when he let go of him, Louis taking him straight to the bed he was meant to be in. Niall shook his head. Harry should have been there, not saving him. Harry should be focused on saving himself, not stupid Nialler. 

He wasn't surprised when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist and carefully not touching his blooded up arm. He didn't even have to open his eyes to tell it was Liam. The smell and shoulder gave it away. 

"I'm Nurse Callie. What can I... His arm." The nurse said straight away and Liam stroked his hair as Niall nodded once, waving it in her direction looking the other way. 

"He says it's painful. I stopped him from doing anything worse." Harry spoke up and Niall bit his lip as Nurse Callie started to wipe his cuts clean and place a cream and bandage on his lower arm. "You should have been in bed, Mr Styles." She told him off half heartedly, Niall had a guilty look in his eyes as he continued not looking at anyone. "As for you, Mr Horan. You're lucky you have friends like you do. You need to change your bandage every night and the scars will heal, in time. That doesn't mean they will go away." 

Niall nodded once and held Liam's hand tightly. He was too lucky to have best friends like them. He didn't know what he would do without them. Zayn spoke for the first time in a while. "How about that tattoo, eh, Niall?" He got the courage to look up at Zayn, who looked sad behind that smile of his. Niall managed a light, quiet chuckle.

"Only if Liam picks the tattoo." He murmured much to the pleasant surprise from Liam and Zayn, while Harry smirked and Louis sent a knowing glance in Niall's direction. 

Three weeks later

The nurse wasn't kidding when she said the scars wouldn't fade. He covered it up but wearing long sleeved light blue button up shirt with his skinny jeans. He breathed heavily and stretched his hand, biting his lips trying to get rid of the nerves. 

He then felt a hand holding his and Niall squeezed it gently, glancing to Liam and his best friends. They waited for the changing of lights, first it was purple and now it was green the boys sprinted onto the stage with grins on their faces. Liam at some point had let go of his hand but that didn't stop Niall from looking at his man. 

"Bonjour Paris!" Liam shouted into the mic and the cheers that erupted were deafening. Niall glanced at Harry who had cut his hair short again (he was using fake tan to hide how pale he was and wearing make up to cover his tiredness) much to their fans disappointment but Niall liked the short hair. There was a reason Harry had to cut it... Niall wiped his eyes and focused back to the crowd. 

"Bonjourno!" Niall said loudly and started chuckling into his mic. The tickets had sold out in twenty four hours. It was time to get Harry's year started.


	8. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's POV

After singing 18 for the first song, the crowd were just as mad and excited as they always were. Harry couldn't be standing for long so he was sat down on one of the stage props. It all felt so... Dizzy. He, after a few years of not really needing it, had his inhaler in his suit pocket. It might help. Then again, it might not. Harry held his forehead in his hand and closed his eyes for a second. He felt movement and Zayn was sat by him. He could tell from the hair in the corner of his eyes. 

"You doing okay, H?" Zayn questions softly removing the mic as the others started preparing for their next song by keeping the crowd entertained. Niall, Louis and Liam were pretty damn good at that sort of thing. Harry nods once after a moment. 

"As good as I can be. I just needed to sit down for a minute. I'm sorry." He felt like he had to apologise. Zayn wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Harry bit his bottom lip, opening his eyes again he took in Louis. He was only looking at Louis. He didn't care about how obvious he was being. He was allowed to look at his boyfriend. 

"There's no need to apologise, H. You sure you want to sing the next song by yourself?" Zayn questioned voice full of concern. Harry nods determinedly. 

"I can do it. I want, I want the fans to know that there's something wrong. I want to be the one to tell them. But not just yet." His voice sounded tired and before Zayn could reply, the next song started. What Harry didn't expect was that Zayn stayed with him the whole way through "No Control" Harry had a bit of energy left for part of the chorus, but that was all he wanted.. he could do for that. 

Harry placed a supportive hand on Zayn's shoulder as Louis started to speak, he got up and stood next to Louis with an adoring look in his eyes. 

"The next song is a cover that Harold Styles is going to sing for you." Louis spoke and the crowd cheered loudly, making Harry smile fondly. "He's going to sing with just the guitar, played by Nialler in the background. Make the most of it, over to you babe." Louis winked and Harry couldn't help but blush as Louis ran a hand through Harry's hair as he went to sit down with Niall, Liam and Zayn. 

"Thanks Lou." Harry tried to sound as normal as he could and he thought it was working, for now. As the lights changed to blue, Harry put his mic on the stand and closed his eyes. He wasn't nervous, well, he was a little. He hadn't done a cover by himself before in this amount of crowd. Solos with the band didn't count. 

Niall played the first note. 

"I'm jealous of the rain  
That falls upon your skin  
It's closer than my hands have been  
I'm jealous of the rain  
I'm jealous of the wind

That ripples through your clothes  
It's closer than your shadow  
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind

'Cause I wished you the best of  
All this world could give  
And I told you when you left me  
There's nothing to forgive  
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was  
Heartbreak and misery

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way  
You're happy without me  
I'm jealous of the nights  
That I don't spend with you

I'm wondering who you lay next to  
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights  
I'm jealous of the love

Love that was in here

Gone for someone else to share

Oh, I'm jealous of the love

'Cause I wished you the best of  
All this world could..."

By the end Harry couldn't stop a tear or two falling down his cheeks as the crowd erupted with cheers and screams that were deafening. Harry bowed and grinned brightly, turning around he felt for his inhaler and breathed deeply for a moment or two, trying to recover a bit before looking at the crowd behind him again. He walked over to Niall and gave him a bro hug messing his hair up. Who knew Niall was so good with his guitar. 

He then focused his attention on Louis who looked like he had watery eyes as well. Harry gave him a quick hug that felt like it should have last longer as he rested his head on Louis's shoulder. "That was perfect, Haz. Absolutely perfect. Take a seat next to Liam, he's sitting down with you for the next song." Louis whispered in his ear and Harry nodded in understanding. Letting go of Louis, he sat down beside Liam. 

"You've been holding back on us, H." Liam spoke and Harry chuckled lightly. 

"No, Niall has." Harry countered as he heard Niall start singing 'Perfect'. He glanced at Liam who was sending Niall a look Harry knew all too well. 

2013, on a recording day for their album - Flashback

Harry was writing down a few lyrics that came to his head as he sat on one of the stools with headphones playing love songs from early 2007/8s. He was humming and as he flicked through his pages and sheets of random lyrics, he felt eyes on him. Frowning slightly, he glanced up to see who it was. 

His lip curled upwards slightly when he saw Louis look straight back down to his writing notes. He couldn't help a chuckle escape his lips as Harry looked back down to his own notes again, humming to Adele 'Chasing pavements'. 

Again, he felt eyes on him and Harry sighed. He couldn't concentrate with Louis's eyes on him all the time. Taking his headphones off, Harry walked over to Louis and sat by him. Harry didn't know why, but there was something about Louis that he couldn't get out of his head. He always thought he was straight. But... Perhaps... He wasn't as straight as he thought. He was okay with that. There was nothing wrong with it. His Mum loved him for who he was, no matter what his sexuality was. He had a feeling she knew. 

"How's your notes going?" Harry questions and Louis looked up, raising his eyebrows and Harry smiled happily. 

"Fine, Harry. Got a few down. You?" 

Harry shrugged. "Got a few ideas." 

"I suppose listening to Adele helped?" 

Harry frowned and gave Louis a questioning look. Had he been paying more attention then Harry had started to notice? Was that... Was that a good thing? His heart quickened slightly as he realised he had been looking at Louis a bit too long. 

If Louis had noticed he hadn't said anything. Harry managed to look away after a few more moments and just as he did Louis spoke. 

"Take a picture, it lasts longer, H." 

Harry felt his cheeks heat up and he laughed, grabbing his phone he grinned cheekily. "Lou, look at me a sec, say cheese!" Harry said and Louis looked up and did just that, though instead of cheese he said something inappropriate, Harry managed to hold the laughter in until he took the picture of Louis and then they both burst out laughing, holding onto each other for support. 

He was so using that for his phone background.

End of flashback

The rest of the songs were, in no particular order, Kiss you, Gotta be you, they don't know about us, little things, moments, fools gold, night changes and you & I. Harry sat down for most of it, stood up to take part in a few of the choruses but Harry hated being useless. So tired. So... 

"Alright, I'm not sure if any of you know what date it is is today. But who's come here on their anniversary?" Louis spoke through the mic getting the crowd and most importantly, Harry's attention. Harry froze and looked at his watch. His breath hitched and he put a hand to his mouth. How could he have forgotten, well he didn't.... It was the 28th today. Their... Lou... 

Harry was about to stand up and Liam stood him back down. Harry frowned and glared at his best friend. 

"What? I need to go to Lou!" He whisper shouted through the noise and Liam didn't say anything, just shook his head. Harry, being the mature person he was, folded his arms in a strop and looked down at a certain spot on the floor. He wanted to talk to his Lou. Liam was just being stupid. Harry had a permanent pout on his face as he listened to the rest of Louis's speech. 

"The reason I ask, is because someone here has forgotten theirs. So if your name is Hanna Cayton your in deep..." Louis spoke and the crowd laughed. Harry was still pouting, however. He knew Louis had meant him, right? Had he? 

"Thanks for being here with us Paris!" Liam shouted and Harry stood up again and put on a smile, standing with the rest of the boys. "It's been a pleasure!" 

"We love you!" Niall shouted wrapping his arms round Liam and Zayn. Harry stood closely to Louis who winked at him. Harry rolled his eyes and pulled a face. 

"Love from yours truly!" Louis spoke through the mic looking straight at Harry. Who grinned. 

"Adiós amigos!" Harry said which sent Niall off laughing as the waved and walked of the stage. 

One concert down. Six to go. 

"Haz, we're going out tonight. Put on your best suit." Louis spoke in his ear that sent shivers down his spine and Harry gulped, nodding. He smirked and whispered right back. "I can't wear my birthday suit in public, Lou. I've told you this."


	9. Falling Like the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing in Niall's POV

"I hate you" 

"No you don't" 

"You're right." 

"Really?" 

"No, I fucking hate you" Niall glared and Liam chuckled and kissed the top of his forehead, messing up his hair as he looked into Niall's eyes, who couldn't look away. 

"This was your idea, love. You shouldn't be blaming me." Liam spoke in a soft voice and Niall sighed. 

"Just keep me distracted. I don't like needles." Niall said as Liam laughed, taking his hand in Niall's as the tattoo artist called Ariane came back with a their drawing. After the concert in Paris, after Louis and Harry got married very privately and very secretly, they managed to cover it from management and most importantly, from... Well. Niall didn't even need to think of the name. He decided he needed something to remember these times by, and he needed to hide his scars. Liam's idea suggested that the tattoo would be a world map with all the cities they've been to and a saying from one of their songs. Niall loved the suggestion and here they were. Getting a tattoo Niall thought he never would do. 

"Alright love. Did you see what was trending on Twitter?" Liam questioned and Niall shook his head. "What was trending?" 

"The fans hacked into an airport again. H and Louis are on their honeymoon but someone saw the two and now it's 'Harry Tomlinson or Louis Styles" Liam said with a grin. "They normally do this so it's not like we should be concerned that they know they've recently got, you know." He said and Niall chuckled lightly. 

"Our fans are something else. Have any of them mentioned anything about Harry?" Niall questioned and Liam nodded, running a hand through his hair just as Niall squeezed his hand tightly and winced, he saw the needle going in. He couldn't actually feel the pain. Liam hoped. 

"On Tiktok, they've had all these theories about him and Louis. One was close, in that Harry's sick. But that's all they've got. I just hope they wait till Harry til them. Not the other way round. Ow! Jeez, Nialler. Are you trying to break my hand?" Liam exclaimed and Niall gave a guilty look and loosened his hand. 

"Sorry, Li." He whispered and finally the numbing cream started to kick in. He closed his eyes and thought back to last month. He and Liam had talked about their feelings and decided they were going to see how things progress. They were exclusive but they weren't boyfriends just yet. Yet being the key word for Niall. He was falling fast for Liam, but he wasn't sure if Liam was falling as fast as he was. The way they acted together, whenever or wherever, was like they were dating. Niall was all for that, it's just, he wanted to make sure it was a special day if either of them asks the other. 

"What do you want to do in Dublin?" Liam asked which got Niall to open his eyes once more and look at Liam with a curious glint in his eyes. 

"Get drunk in every pub in Dublin." He answered with a grin and Liam rolled his eyes playfully. 

"Apart from that." Liam replied easily. 

"Well, we're only there for a rest day then we go back to London. So, unless you want to pull of day drinking..." Niall trailed off, basically saying he hadn't made any plans whatsoever. 

Liam chuckled and furrowed his eyebrows together in thought which made Niall do the same. What was Liam planning? Was it a date? He smiled to himself and closed his eyes once more, it was going to be a long hour and a half. 

Later that day, Niall decided to do a live on Instagram. He just loved interacting with the fans and he was having a quiet evening in the the house the boys were staying in at the minute. It brought him back to X-Factor days but the difference was they had a whole house to themselves and separate rooms. 

Opening a beer he started the live. He was wearing grey joggers and a plain white t-shirt with his short sleeves rolled up. It was the first time in like a month he wasn't wearing long sleeves. He was just lucky it had been a cold Spring. Otherwise he was sure the fans would have noticed. Taking a long sip of his drink he focused on the numbers and who was joining. Apparently, quite a few people. Just less than ten thousand. 

"Hello everyone, how are you all?" He questioned with a grin, not showing his new tattoo until more people arrived. Niall was actually nervous, what would they say? 

"Glad you're good, most of you. Sorry you're not, Ally. But don't worry, I'm hear now. Have a drink on me..." Niall was replying to the comments and grinning. "What did I do today? I'll tell you when more people join. You're not allowed to drink, oh. Oops. Have some chocolate milk." Niall chuckled lightly. 

When it got to about twenty five thousand, he decided to tell them. Just as he was about to speak he glanced to Liam as he walked in in black jeans and no top, showing off his body and Niall couldn't even stop his eyes widening or his mouth opening slightly as his man went to get a drink. 

"Do you mind, Liam. I'm doing a live here" Niall was doing his best to look annoyed but he had amusement in his eyes and slightly flushed cheeks. Liam looked up from his coffee making and grinned at Niall, shrugging. 

"Nah, continue. I'm not distracting you, am I?" Liam asked sneakily and Niall tried not to groan as he focused back to the live, ignoring the subtle wink Liam had given him. His eyes widened as he saw the live had doubled in the short amount of time and as he scrolled through the comments there were a lot of 'Niam' and love hearts and Niall rolled his eyes fondly. 

"Anyway. I was going to tell you what I was doing today. In fact I'll show you." Niall said and he hadn't noticed Liam was glancing at him every so often. Niall waved his left arm in front of the camera and showed them the tattoo with a smile on his face. He loved it. 

A lot of the fans were going crazy, like literally screaming in the comments. Niall raised his eyebrows and then frowned, slightly concerned. Most of the comments loved the tattoo and a few were questioning him. One said 'I thought you were never going to get a tattoo' and Niall bit his lip. He couldn't really tell them why he did it. Could he? 

"I wasn't. But I'm allowed to change my mind aren't I?' Niall questioned with a small smile as he put his arm back down again. A few agreed, but one stood out for him. 'Did anyone see the scars'. Shit. He tried not to show his panic face as he glanced back to see if Liam was still in the room. Niall sighed in relief. Liam was still there looking handsome as ever leaning on the counter. "Psst" Niall whispered loudly and Liam looked up from the game on his phone with a confused expression. Niall nodded him over. 

"Who wants to ask Liam a question?" Niall asked hoping they wouldn't question the tattoo anymore. 

As he read the comments, he frowned. One person in particular kept asking about the tattoo. But the rest were asking Liam a question or commenting about Niam, which Niall didn't mind one bit. "Li, what's your favourite colour?" He questioned over his shoulder not realising that Liam had been standing so close. Niall blushed as his face was looking right at his six pack. It could be a seven pack but Niall wasn't thinking about that right now. It took his will power to focus up to Liam's eyes and hearing his answer. 

"Sea blue." Liam said without hesitation, "I like the ocean." 

Niall coughed a little and nodded, smiling slightly. "Another asks what's your favourite song right now?" 

"Thinking out loud by Ed or Dont tell 'em" Liam said and Niall chuckles lightly shaking his head as he tried to hide his flushed face. 

"Are you looking forward to Dublin?" Liam read as Niall focused back on the live. 

"Yes," They both answer at the same time. "I hear the pubs are great" Niall added and Liam laughed messing his hair up. 

"If you're watching in Ireland and you own a pub within five miles of Dublin, watch out for this one. He might drink all your alcohol." Liam joked lightly. 

"Where are Zayn, Harry and Louis?" Niall read a comment and he bit his lip. "They're enjoying time off from the tour." He answered, smiling slightly. The fan wasn't specific enough. Wasn't his fault. 

Soon, about fifteen minutes later, he ended the live and closed his phone, sighing deeply. Liam wrapped his arms round his neck and stroked his chest as Niall rested his head in Liam's arms. 

"Sea blue?" Niall murmured tiredly and he didn't see Liam's blush. "Yes. Thought it was a perfectly respectable answer." 

"Don't tell 'em?" Niall questioned stifling a yawn with his hand. Liam rolled his eyes and held Niall's hand dragging him up from the sofa so their faces were inches apart. 

"Come upstairs, Nialler. I'll show you something we shouldn't tell them." Liam spoke seductively in Niall's ear that sent shivers down his spine. Speechless, he nodded. This wouldn't be the first time they've messed around a bit, but. Niall was ready... So ready. 

Dublin, 2 days later 

Harry and Louis had joined them in the Dublin hotel after their honey moon, but the happiness didn't last for long. Harry had felt sick the night before the show. So Louis took him to the nearest hospital and Niall was freaking out. He didn't know what to tell the fans the next day, they wanted to see all of one direction but would they perform without Harry? If they had to... But the whole point of this was so Harry could perform to the fans one last time. 

Niall wiped his eyes as he turned to Zayn and Liam, who were trying to distract themselves before the show tomorrow. Niall sighed and looked down to his tattoo, covering up the scars. He couldn't ... It was, tempting. He had to distract himself with his thoughts but Harry was struggling. So why should they all be happy if Harry wasn't? 

"Lads, we might have to do the show without Harry. What do we tell the fans? He didn't want us to tell them. He wanted to tell them himself." Niall spoke voice just above a whisper. 

There was a long pause until Zayn spoke. 

"We don't tell them anything. We tell them their flight got delayed, or something. They'll probably see right through the lie but what more can we do?" Zayn questions, his eyes getting a little teary but none of them commented on that. 

Niall's phone started to ring and as he saw who it was he answered it straight away. "Louis?" 

"We do it without him. He's, he's not in a good way. His sister is with him so he won't be alone. We can tell the fans." His voice cracked a little but that was all they needed to know as Louis hang up again. Niall bit his lip and shook his head. 

"Without him." Was all he could say before leaving to his room. When he closed the door, that was when he broke down, sitting down heavily on the floor while bringing his knees to his chest. The reality of it was setting in. 

One Direction hadn't got long. 

Harry hadn't got long.


	10. Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's POV. The song you don't recognise is made up.

The cheers were deafening, as always. It always brought a smile to his face but this time it was a small half smile that didn't reach his eyes. He stepped out with the boys and he honestly didn't know how they were going to deal with this. The first performance without Harry present. How were their fans going to react? He didn't know. He truly didn't know. 

As he stood where his mic was, he got out his phone and loaded up Twitter. He, Niall, Liam and Zayn were all going to do separate tweets that connected as one. The message was this: "It's not the same without you. We love you. Our hearts are with you, H. Love from yours truly" Nodding at each other, they pressed send. 

Louis coughed into the mic. "If you could all check Twitter, that would be great." He hated how he sounded nervous as he saw the crowd get their phones out. As they did, Louis nervously spoke. "This is a song Harry wrote." He coughed as the music started playing, wiping his eyes as he saw the reactions from the fans. Most looked confused, all of them looked concerned and there was some fear in their eyes. 

Louis started singing the intro to 'If I could fly". Harry had chosen him to be the one to sing most of it and Louis was surprised at first when Harry said that was what he wanted. But after a while he understood why. 

His voice cracked half way through the second verse and a quiet sob sniffed into his mic, wiping his eyes. Niall took over, which Louis was both surprised and thankful for. He guessed Harry knew that Louis wouldn't be able to manage all of it so he asked Niall to take over. He didn't mind. It just meant his husband was thinking of him and taking care of him even if he wasn't on the stage with him. 

Niall's voice was actually shining throughout the song, there was a lot of emotion behind his voice and Louis was certain that was the best they had ever heard Niall sing so far. Louis walked over to Niall, put a supportive hand on his shoulder and sang the last verse with him. He wasn't sure why Zayn and Liam hadn't joined in, perhaps they knew it meant a lot to Louis and didn't want to spoil it for him. But the boys could never spoil it. 

Louis saw the tears in Niall's eyes and Louis nodded once as they finished. For once, the crowd was completely silent for a minute. His phone went ping and so did the rest of the boys. Looking, they saw a hashtag going round and a tweet from Harry himself. The hashtag was '#greenhearts' again and Louis's breath hitched. It was also, '#sendingloveH' as second, third, however, was '#bluehearts'. Then, Louis was brave enough to look at Harry's tweet. 

'Louis Styles and Niall Horan sung my song better than I ever would. Don't cry, boys. It's not over yet. To the fans, thank you for the love. I am so sorry I'm not there right now, I received some news last month related to the accident. I have brain cancer that's spreading a lot faster than the doctors know how to deal with. Don't let this news get you down. Love from yours truly, H'

Louis liked and retweeted. He looked at the after message from Harry too. 

'It wasn't a typo. Love, H'

He frowned, what did he mean, it wasn't a typo? Louis's eyes then widened in shock as he reread the message. Harry had called him Louis Styles. For the whole world to see. Fuck. Shit. Louis was sure his face was bright red as he very shakily retweeted the second tweet. The fans were still silent, he noticed as he looked up from his phone. Putting it away, he then nodded to Zayn, Niall and Liam. They needed to distract everyone. One of their new songs would work for that. 

Zayn sang the intro for the first verse. 

"You gotta help me, I'm losing my mind  
Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind  
Thought we were going strong  
I thought we were holding on  
Aren't we?"

Niall took over. 

"No, they don't teach you this in school  
Now my heart's breaking and I don't know what to do  
Thought we were going strong  
Thought we were holding on  
Aren't we?"

All of them joined in, letting their hearts out to the crowds cheers and screams, though Louis noted it wasn't as enthusiastic as they had been.   
"You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever  
All of the rumors, all of the fights  
But we always find a way to make it out alive  
Thought we were going strong  
Thought we were holding on  
Aren't we?  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)"

Louis sang the next verse. Running a hand through his hair his heart was beating fast, still having his mind on Harry's tweet. 

"So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever  
Minibars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos  
The good champagne, and private planes  
But they don't mean anything  
'Cause the truth is out, I realize  
That without you here life is just a lie  
This is not the end  
This is not the end"

The boys joined in for the end of the song. Liam and Niall were clapping against their mics and Zayn was doing some random dance moves that Louis just had to copy and make fun of. 

"We can make it, you know it, you know  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen  
You and me got a whole lot of history (oh oh)  
So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever  
So don't let me go  
So don't let me go  
We can live forever  
Baby, don't you know  
Baby, don't you know  
We can live forever" 

They ended the song with smiles and mixed emotions. Louis was nervous. He was terrified. What would modest do? What... What would happen? Would they break them up? Could that even happen? They were married for Christ sake! They couldn't force them to get a divorce. Never. Louis wouldn't let them control them anymore. 

He went over to the boys who were having a hug and congrats for singing the song so well. He was proud of them too, it sounded great. Would have been better with Harry's voice. He couldn't say that though. 

"Boys, it's time for the plan. Harry told the world my true last name. The plan is going to be put in motion. We're getting rid of Modest, tonight." Louis spoke determination in his eyes and face and Niall smiled, nodding once. Liam too nodded, looking a little nervous but up for the challenge. Zayn wrapped his arms around them and gave them a quick pep talk. If he could call it that. 

"Whatever happens. I love you guys. To be honest, I don't mind all that much that I'm a fifth wheel." Zayn spoke with a huge grin and a wink. Louis blushed and whacked him on the shoulder. 

"Alright Dublin!" Louis shouted through the mic after gaining confidence. "We've got a special guest today. He is most known for thinking out loud. Have you guessed who he is yet?" Louis questioned and there were excited screams and a load of "yes". 

Louis didn't need to speak any further as Ed himself ran onto the stage earning the loudest cheers of the night. Louis grinned, grateful for their friendship. Stuart Camp, Ed's manager, said he'd help the plan with the boys so they wouldn't be without management for long. Louis wasn't expecting it at all and when he asked why Stuart wanted to help, he said that they shouldn't have to hide. They shouldn't have to hide who they love. That was all Louis needed to hear. All Louis wanted to hear. 

"Hello Dublin!" Ed spoke loudly as he wrapped his shoulders around Louis and Niall, while Zayn and Liam stood closely next to them with grins on their faces. Louis could tell they were a bit nervous, though. Not as nervous as he was however. "Are you ready for a song?" 

The crowd cheered and Ed looked at the boys with a wink. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you! You can do better than that!" He shouted and they cheered even louder than before which Louis hoped was getting their spirits up. 

"The boys and I have written a song together that will literally knock your socks off!" Ed said and Louis rolled his eyes but was grinning none the less. "Not literally, mate. Imagine the stink?" Niall responded and everyone laughed. 

"On three, join in when you know the lyrics!" Ed said with a huge grin. 

"I tried to be brave, I tried to be bold  
And now all of a sudden all of a sudden I want somebody  
I can try to be brave  
I can try to be brave

And you, put your brave face on  
Gotta lose some hand so sad and blue  
But I could go on for days in your arms, if you wanted me to  
This love is forcing me to be brave, to be brave

Well, good luck, baby, see you later  
And thanks, be brave, for the trouble that you gave  
Of boys and men with much older girls  
If they had a clue, they would help you be brave  
Oh, and I am but a fool  
And if you go away  
To look inside and  
If I was brave enough to love you  
But I could go on for days in your arms, if you wanted me to

This love is forcing me to be brave, to be brave  
Well, good luck, baby, see you later  
And thanks, be brave, for the trouble that you gave  
But I could go on for days in your arms, if you wanted me to

This love is forcing me to be brave, to be brave  
Well, good luck, baby, see you later  
And thanks, be brave, for the trouble that you gave"

As Louis finished the last line his heart was pounding. He had written this for Harry with Ed's help one night when he couldn't sleep. It turned out so much better than he could have hoped. The song sounded like one of their songs but it was slightly more r&b, with Ed doing a bit of rapping in the chorus, it was perfect. Called "Be Brave" He hoped Harry loved it. 

At the end of the concert, Simon and Modest were waiting for them and Ed and Stuart never left the group side. Louis really hoped their plan was going to work. Louis bit his lip nervously and Zayn and Liam stood protectively in front of the Louis and Niall, while Ed was stood towards the side near the door. 

"What the heck was that?" Simon was the first to speak, as Louis was about to answer, Simon silenced him. "Not only do the world know Harry is on his death bed, which we told you not to tell them! But apparently, you are now Louis Styles! Need a remind you the contract you signed?" Simon spoke angrily and Louis frowned, getting angry too. 

"I never fucking signed a contract!" Louis knew he hadn't but he froze when Simon pulled out the contract and there his signature was. Tears pricked against his eyes. He could only repeat his last statement. "I don't know who signed that but it wasn't fucking me! The fans were going to find out eventually!" 

Simon just shook his head. "Now, it's also against the policies for you to be working with completely different management, sing a song we knew nothing about at one of the most huge tours of this year!" He growled out and Louis smiled despite the conversation. It was huge. They had completely sold out. They broke the record in how many tickets sold in two minutes. 

"It's a good song, is it not?" Ed spoke and Louis's eyes widened, shaking his head. He couldn't get involved with this. Though when Simon didn't comment, Louis smirked. That was their answer. 

"You need to sort yourselves out. You can't be with two managements. If you had any sense, you would choose us..." Simon didn't get to finish when Niall spoke. 

"You'd think we would choose you again after making us feel like we couldn't be ourselves? After making us feel scared to love? Fuck that." Niall spoke and that was one of the first times Louis heard Niall swear and he couldn't be more proud. Watching, Niall held Liam's hand and they stood with Ed and Stuart who were both smiling but clearly surprised. 

Zayn spoke next. "You are shit management. You manipulated me, you used my depression to get your own way and you get what's coming for you." Zayn said standing on the other side of Ed. Louis stepped forward, grabbing the paper. He took a picture and zoomed in. He knew it. 

"I'm pretty sure you can get sued for faking signatures, Simon." Louis spat, ripping the contract in half and in a million pieces. "So, I think that makes it alright for us to switch management, don't you, Stuart?" Louis questioned and he too stood by Ed, heart beating fast. He just wanted to get to his Harry. 

"I think so, Louis. While I'm at it, remind me to get in touch with a lawyer." Stuart spoke as he helped them leave the room, leaving Modest and Simon speechless. Louis put both middle fingers up as he walked out backwards. It was so satisfying. He was just upset Harry wasn't hear to witness their freedom. 

Louis, after getting in a car with the boys and Stuart driving, opened up Twitter and changed his name. 'Louis Styles' suited him a lot better, anyway. Louis was surprised when Niall sent him a picture and when Louis opened it, his heartbeat quickened the most it had all night. It was a picture of him giving Harry the promise ring. Immediately, he changed his profile picture to that as well. He tweeted too. 

'End of one era, a start of a new. Always and forever in my heart' Louis wrote and sent. 

The next concert was in Sheffield. But he wasn't worrying about that right now. Right now, he was thinking of one person and one person only. 

Harry Tomlinson-Styles


	11. What Makes You Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's POV

He groaned as the alarm was set for seven o'clock in the morning. He moved his elbow sleepily when he realised he had just elbowed someone quite hard. "Ow, Ni. Thanks for that." He rolled over to face Liam, who still had his eyes closed but he was frowning. Niall ran a hand through Liam's hair as he put his head on Liam's shoulder, kissing him on his neck as an apology. 

"Sorry, Li." He murmured tiredly. A lot had happened the other day. First of all, the most important, they had finally got rid of Modest. Secondly, Louis and Harry came out of hiding. Thirdly, Harry was still in the hospital with his sister updating them on how he is. Which isn't too good. Fourthly, Niall just heard his phone go off for the fifth time so as he checked his eyes widened slightly. 

"Liammm..." Niall spoke in a sing song way, and Liam opened one eye, raising his eyebrow and Niall bit his lip. "James Corden is going to pick us all up in half an hour." 

Liam literally sprung out of bed faster than Niall could say 'love you' and he gave Niall a short, sweet kiss on the lips before hopping in the shower, tripping over a few clothes on the way which made Niall laugh. 

He then decided to get changed and wear smart jeans and a button up blouse which was pink and white striped. He rolled his short sleeves up and brushed his hair, putting a bit of make up on and of course his deodorant. He then checked Instagram and even though he had just woke up Niall was feeling happy and good today, so he took a morning selfie with his finger gun as his story and captioned it 'new day, new Nialler'. 

He was ready by the time Liam was and he came out looking perfect as he always did. A knock on the door and Niall answered to Louis and Zayn looking good as usual but Louis looked like he didn't sleep at all. "You ready for this?" Zayn asked them and Niall bit his lip but nodded and Liam nodded too. 

"Yeah, we are. Are you, Louis, Zayn?" Liam spoke and the two nodded once as well. 

"Let's get this carpool on the road then" 

They walked out of the house and James was there in his car grinning at the boys. Niall loved James, he was so funny and so real with them. Off and on camera. Niall got in the front seat. 

"Thanks for helping me get to work, Niall, wait... What? I only needed one!" James said as Liam, Louis and Zayn got in the back seat. "Alright, fine. It's fine, so, seatbelts on. If anyone needs a wee..." 

"I need a wee" Niall joked and James sniggered, "Hold it" was his reply and the boys laughed. It wasn't the same without Harry, Niall noticed the difference already. 

"So, mind if we listen to some music?" 

"Not at all, James" Zayn responded and we grinned when Steal My Girl was the first song played. It felt good for Niall to just look in the camera, mess around with James and just have a good time. To let loose and laugh. But he never forgot Harry, when he looked a little distant that was who he was thinking about. 

"A lot has changed for you guys, but one thing I need to ask. Is Harry okay, like I know he isn't okay... Just, how is he doing?" James sounded genuinely concerned and Louis answered for us as Niall glanced at Liam, who was already looking at him. Niall blushed a little and looked back at James. 

"He's in a bad way, like his tweet said. It's all happening faster than they know how to deal with. The plan for him is that he should be singing in Sheffield, but I think the fans shouldn't get their hopes high too much" Louis spoke trying not to let his emotions get to him. 

"Alright at let's sing this new song from you, called Be Brave. It's already in top five charts in forty countries" James said and Niall's eyes widened in shock. How was that possible?! 

They sand their hearts out and it went like that for a while, singing songs old and new. James asking them questions and Niall was happy to just laugh. All he did notice, was that if they were going to continue being One Direction, they definitely wouldn't be the same without Harry. Everyone knew that. But he was surprised towards the end of the carpool, everyone was surprised, even the fans, apart from James when he had got his phone holder and phone out and the phone started calling someone's name who was blocked. 

Niall couldn't believe it when he saw Harry in hospital gown and a few tubes attached to him but most importantly he had his smile on his face as he said hello. Niall's mouth felt like it was literally to the floor. 

"H, I love you." Niall heard Louis say which took Niall out of his shock and he grinned, though it wasn't quite there. 

"Love you too, Lou." Harry spoke back and James smiled at them. "It can't be a One Direction Carpool without all the band. Harry, mind if we play some music?" 

"Go ahead, James. Go ahead" Harry spoke and Niall looked back to see the boys reactions and Zayn was smiling but his eyes hinted confusion, Liam was grinning and Niall could tell he was hiding his true emotions behind the smile. Louis just seemed transfixed by Harry. 

"You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the dooor ..." Harry started to sing, emotion all out, eyes focused on Louis and Niall smiled a proper smile. It had been ages since he had heard Harry sing and to have him sing the first verse of What Makes You Beautiful, Niall wiped a tear that was falling down his cheek. 

He was going to take in this moment and make the most of it. 

Who knew how long they had left?


	12. Little Do You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's POV

Flashback- 

"Gemma, Gem. I don't know how to do this. I keep smiling to the world like everything is fine. I... Nothing is fine. Absolutely nothing. How can I continue? How do I go on? I could... I could make things easier. End things before cancer takes me." Harry sniffed, wiping his tears that had been falling for a while. His voice was dry and hoarse and he couldn't concentrate on anything. 

"Haz, Harry. No, don't do that. Don't talk like that. You'll make it. 1 in ten stage three brain cancer patients make it. Harry, there's so much more you need to accomplish. A family with Lou, more albums, more songs... You could even act, you're good at acting. Please, Haz. Just don't talk like you're giving up." Gemma spoke, her eyes stinging from wetness, she grabbed a tissue as Harry lay silent for a bit. He didn't know what to say. He started to close his eyes. He wasn't tired per say, he just wanted to imagine, imagine what it would be like to live. To get past this. To win the fight. 

"There's something I need to tell you, Haz. You don't remember..." Harry assumed Gemma thought he was asleep so he made no movement as his heart rate rested. "You were four when he was taken from your life. We don't know where he is now, what he's doing. But it was too traumatic, Dad.. he did... We had to get him out of there." She trailed off, her voice breaking. "We lost contact. Mum didn't think we could tell you." 

Harry inwardly frowned. What was Gemma on about? Who was taken from him? What happened? Had he purposefully forgot...? 

"I'm sorry, you got on like two peas in a pod. Always connected. I just, had to say it. I know you're asleep. I just had to tell you. Before I don't get a chance to." Gemma broke down again and he could tell by the movements that she was slumped in the hospital chair. "Eddie Robyn Styles. Your twin." She managed to speak and if Harry wasn't pretending to be asleep right now he would have gasped and shouted and... 

His twin. 

He had a twin. 

No one had told him. 

End of flashback. 

It was the day before the Sheffield concert and it was the first night in a while that he hadn't been in a hospital bed. He was sleeping in Louis's bed in their house with the boys. Louis was asleep, like he should be at three in the morning. But, Harry couldn't put his mind at rest until he had made contact with Eddie. 

Harry was on Instagram, searching and searching for Eddie Styles. No luck, he couldn't find anyone that remotely looked like him. He tried Edward Styles. Still nothing. He frowned, in deep thought. If he were related to a famous singer and didn't want any attention, how would he hide his name?   
Past memory-  
"I prefer Robyn, Styles is a weird name." A young boy just three, a little chubby with blonde hair and green eyes pouted and Harry laughed. 

"It's not weird, it's just our last name. What's wrong wiv it?" Harry questions, even though he was three, he was still struggling with a few words and sounds. The boy shrugged. 

"It doesn't suit me. It suits you. To my name it sounds silly" Eddie countered. 

Harry's eyes widened slightly. He'd remembered... Slowly, Harry typed into the search bar 'Eddie Robyn'. He breathed heavily and clicked on the first account that came out. The bio was '21, Australia, Sydney, Photographer, writer'. He saw the image and he never believed in doppelgangers... But this was next level. The only difference was the blonde hair. The jawbones, the chin, the nose... It was all the same. To Harry's eyes, though he wasn't sure if anyone who knew Eddie thought the same thing. 

He couldn't believe it. Before he knew what he was doing he clicked follow. Biting his lips nervously he held his phone like that, just lied in his bed. Australia? He'd like to go one day. Not touring, as a holiday. Eddie was a photographer and a writer? What had he written? Could he sing? There was so much he didn't know about his own twin! 16 years apart. No one thought to tell him... 

His phone vibrated and he looked down and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Eddie accepted and followed him back. Harry, looking through the photos, saw that Eddie never posted selfies, just landscape photos and to places he had been and pictures of people smiling. It had a happy vibe. Before Harry got too deep into his timeline, his phone vibrated again and there was a message. A direct message. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - Not everyday the Harry Styles follows you. What do I owe the pleasure? Oh, maybe you're just doing a random follow spree. This is embarrassing. I don't think you'll even see this. Ignore me. Ignore this. 

Harry Styles - Wait, don't go. I'm not doing a random follow spree. Were you always living in Australia? 

Eddie_Robyn94 - Wow. You responded. No, I grew up in Cheshire in England. Moved to Aussie when I was four. Been here with my Nan since, why am I telling you all this? 

Harry Styles - Nan? I thought she... Nevermind. It makes sense, she's always said in her cards she's travelling. You're telling me this because I'm... You don't remember why you moved do you?? 

Eddie_Robyn94 - Why are you talking like you know my Nan? She told me why I moved. My Dad was an alcoholic and not stable for looking after children. Never understood why she said children tho, mate. I don't have siblings. 

Harry Styles - Oh. Shit. I shouldn't be telling you any of this. I shouldn't even know. If I had found out sooner, I would have tried to connect more. She said children because you have a sister called Gemma. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - Found out sooner? What aren't you telling me? Gemma... Gem... Gemma? I, I think I remember her. 

Harry Styles - You don't remember anyone else? 

Eddie_Robyn94 - No, I don't. I remember a childhood friend called Harry. But we lost contact. Haven't heard from him since. But hey, that's life. 

Harry Styles - I'm Harry. I'm not a childhood friend. I'm your twin. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - .... 

Harry Styles - Sorry, so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I only wanted to see if we could meet before I, well. Nevermind. It was a long shot. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - .... I'm ... Harry? The one who wore a Spiderman costume on the first day of nursery? 

Harry Styles - I thought those pictures were burnt! 

Eddie_Robyn94 - No, I have proof. Nan keeps a picture of you on her night stand. She also has a poster of One Direction on her wall. 

Harry Styles - She always says she's the biggest fan. The last conversation I remember us having was the goodbye. You didn't want to go and I didn't want you to leave. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - It's all coming back to me know, Haz. No one told you about me? Not even Gem? 

Harry Styles - She only told me because she thought I was asleep. There's something you need to know. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - I know you're gay, Haz. You're married to Louis. Nan mentioned it. Why wasn't I invited to be the best man? 

Harry Styles - We had to get married in secret and I still wouldn't have known you existed. That wasn't what I need to tell you. I'm guessing you don't follow one direction much? 

Eddie_Robyn94 - Not my type of music, so not really. Sorry, Haz. I'll definitely watch back on some now though. How could I not? 

Harry Styles - Before you do, you should know. I haven't got long. I've, I've got cancer. I'm at the three months line. 

Eddie_Robyn94 - I have to go. I need to process this. I'm.. god. Fuck. 

Eddie_Robyn94 is offline. 

Harry sighed heavily and locked his phone, the time showing 3:45am, finally feeling sleepy, he drifted off to sleep with a heavy frown on his face. 

"Harry, Haz. H. Harrryyyy." Louis cooed in his ear and Harry groaned. "G'awy' he murmured and turned over snuggling into his pillow. 

"We've got to leave for the concert, H. Come onnn... I'll make you wake up" Louis whispered seductively. Harry still didn't move and he felt Louis put the duvet cover over them both and he felt his hot breath on his skin, reaching down to his waist and lower. Harry bit his lip, opening his eyes. He was awake now. Especially... 

"I know you're awake, Haz. But just for you..." Louis whispered and Harry's breath hitched. He couldn't stop smiling as he closed his eyes, biting his lips to hide a moan. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 

It opened and all Harry had to do was look at Niall to burst out with laughter. 

"MY EYES! MY INNOCENT EYES." Niall wailed and immediately backed out of the room. Harry could hear Louis sniggering underneath the covers and Harry couldn't stop laughing. 

Trust Niall, some things never change.


	13. Olivia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's POV first, then Niall's.

Sheffield. 

He never liked Sheffield. 

He lost a football game against Sheffield once. Held a grudge against the place ever since. What? It was perfectly normal to hold grudges for a few years. 

This time, though. This time he might actually push himself to like the place. He had Harry with him, holding hands openly on stage. He was wearing Micheal Sam's Jersey again, with a smile that was permanently on his face. Harry had stopped using fake tan and make up and it teared Louis up a little to see how things were truly effecting Harry. He tried not to think about that right now. 

What got Louis out of his trance, however, Harry was changing up the words again, a happy and amused glint in his eyes as he did. 

"I live for you, I long for you, Louis hey hey  
I've been idolizing the light in your eyes, Louis hey hey  
I live for you, I long for you, Louis  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go"

Louis couldn't stop a grin and a single tear falling from his eyes as Harry sang, he knew it meant more to him than it usually did. He could hear the emotion in Harry's voice, the care, the effort for the fans. 

"Don't let me go". I'll try my best not to, H. 

Next thing Louis saw, towards the end of the song as we were all singing, all the fans held up signs. Some of the signs that made up 'Love from yours truly. We love you' with green and blue hearts so all the fans were holding signs. Taking part. 

Louis took his phone out and made a panorama, and took a picture. He wanted to remember this. Remember the feeling. He then made a heart shape with his fingers and blew a kiss at all the fans. He had a feeling the others were doing the same thing and sure enough, Harry looked very emotional, Liam was grinning ear to ear and so was Niall, looking like they wanted to cry of happiness. Zayn looked speechless and for once showed his true emotions to the fans. He was pretty sure they were all thinking the same thing. 

We made it. 

"Thank you Sheffield, you've been absolute stars." Zayn spoke through the mic and Louis could tell he meant every word. "Thank you, thanks for sticking with us. Thanks for being the best fans we could ask for." Liam spoke next. 

"It means more than you know" Louis spoke, "Green and blue hearts forever." 

"You know, anyone recommend a pub or two?" Niall of course, had to joke and some of the crowd laughed and he laughed too. Louis was sometimes jealous of Niall for that reason. Niall was known for the happy go lucky, laughable, caring, babying one of the group. But as Louis thought about it, it wasn't jealousy. It was envy. "I'm joking, thanks for being here. For standing with us. Quite literally." Niall finished speaking and Louis couldn't even not chuckle at that. 

"Thank you, Sheffield. Thank you to all our fans. Thanks for being there. For understanding. For all your love. I support you, no matter who you love, no matter your race, no matter where your from. I love every single one of you. Remember that." Harry said his voice sounding heavy, but somehow still tired. Very tired. 

A lot of the fans screamed "WE LOVE YOU" Back to them. Louis smiled, walking over to Harry, he hugged him and Harry kissed him on his forehead, before collapsing into Louis's arms, who held him surprisingly steady, with fear and concern in his eyes. Niall, Zayn and Liam rushed over before he could even process what just happened. 

"Haz? Harry...?" Louis muttered in Harry's hair. 

"Stuart, he just collapsed, yeah. The nearest hospital. Thank you so much." Louis heard Liam's voice and their managers voice but it was all a blur as he was lead off stage. 

Alright. 

He didn't like Sheffield anymore. 

Niall's POV 

Niall was waiting outside Harry's wing and it was all too familiar sight to be here. He didn't like hospitals, he never did. Especially the last time he was at the hospital with Harry things took a turn for the worst. The scars were covered by the tattoo but the scars were still there. He put his hands in his head, crying silently. 

Harry had been okay. Throughout the concert. Niall felt bad to say it was almost like Harry was back to his old self. He knew he wasn't. But there was a small amount of hope left in Niall's heart that maybe, just maybe, Harry would survive this. 

"Niall, the Doctor said he's stable now. He's fine." Liam's voice made Niall's heart race as he looked up at Liam with hope, who crouched down to hold Niall's hands and sit with him. "That was scary. I don't think I can be the brave, responsible one anymore." Liam whispered. 

Niall's eyes widened, tears swelling his eyes. "Li, you can cry on me. You don't always have to be brave." He whispered back and that was how they spent the night. 

Leaning on each other. 

Not even a minute had gone past and Niall realised this was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

Nothing was going to stop him anymore. 

Almost nothing.


	14. Night Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's POV, then Harry's.

There's two sides to everyone. Their kind, always find the positives, always smiling. Always happy. Dances as if no one is watching. Sings, performs, never misses a beat. Always just seems so put together. Watch them you think wow, he must have a great life. They're so happy. They laugh like they don't have a care in the world. They think they're just so perfect. Then you have this other side. This is the side that Satan loves to pick on. It's their anxious side, it's their insecure side its their fearful side. The side that can't let go or understand why the person left or why the person lied or why this person changed their mind or why this person made up that rumour about them or why no one likes them. The side that needs love the most but can't accept it.   
Niall, journey entry, 23.06.15

Three months had passed. 

Two more concerts to go. 

One in New York. 

One in Sydney. 

Then a new album release, dedicated to Harry. 

Then... Well... Who knew. 

For now, they were doing an interview in SNL. 

It wasn't doing much, they were just discussing the tour and they'd play 'Be Brave' for the audience and everyone watching at home. Niall was quite quiet. Strangely quiet. He didn't know if anyone noticed. 

He was just thinking back to the days of X-Factor. To their first tour. To their first album. Everything that's happened the past five years, Niall was thinking about it. 

He felt a hand on his thigh which made him blink in surprise, glancing to see who it was, he managed a smile when it was Liam. Niall didn't even know why he had to look to see who it was anymore, he should always know, it's always going to be Liam. He hoped. 

Oh how much he hoped. Even if... 

"Niall, you zoned out." Liam said quietly. 

He then glanced back to Jimmy who was looking at him with concern. Guilt shone in Niall's eyes. "So sorry, Jimmy." He apologised automatically and Jimmy nodded once. 

"It's fine, Niall. There's a lot going on. It's understandable. We're going to play a game of Never Have I Ever." Niall bit his lip and nodded, relaxing a little into the sofa and ever so slightly into Liam's hold. Though he couldn't let himself do that anymore. Breathing a little heavy, he slowly moved away from Liam, pretending to just be getting comfy but he moved closer to Zayn than him, leaving a bit of a gap between himself and Liam. Niall stared at a spot on the wall. 

"Alright, so... never have I ever sung your own song in the shower?" He started off with and Niall put on a laugh. He didn't feeling great today. Not great at all. He knew exactly why. He was putting out small changes. Loud changes. 

Niall changed his to I have and he looked at the others, only Louis said he hadn't. "I dont really sing in the shower," Louis commented with a sheepish shrug. 

Jimmy laughed and then asked, "Never have I ever, wrote a song about someone you care about?" 

All of them turned the signs to they had. Looking a bit surprised at each other, mainly because Niall never showed anyone the songs that he's written in his journal. Not even Liam. Maybe he should, one day, but some are too depressing for anyone to hear. Some just need to be left on a piece of paper. 

"Will we be hearing these soon?" Jimmy asked and Liam answered, in a cooler tone than usual but Niall couldn't look at Liam, not to see the pain in his eyes. "Some, you might." It was a vague answer, but there was a hint. The fans were smart, they'd get the hint. 

"Never have I ever fallen in love" Niall didn't think, he put he has. Louis put he has. Zayn hasn't yet. Niall finally had the courage to look at Liam's, which made his heart flutter. It said he had. Who...? No, it doesn't matter. Push him away. Push them away...

"Never have I ever, cried watching a romantic movie?" 

The questions like that went on for a few minutes. Niall didn't have his mind on that though. His mind was on the fact that Liam had fallen in love. But was it with him? Or was he talking about before X-Factor? Niall couldn't get these questions out of his head. Not one minute went by without thinking of Liam. It was irritating. But not really. 

He wondered if anyone had noticed he had changed today. Normally he was good at hiding it. But... 

"That's all we have time for, thanks for joining us. Send our love and best wishes to Harry." 

"We will" Louis spoke with a small smile. 

As they left and hopped into the van taking them back to their home, he felt eyes on him. Niall sighed and glanced at the boys with a questioning look. "What?" 

"You weren't yourself today." Louis was the first to tell him and Niall shrugged, rolling his eyes slightly. "No, really? One day where I'm not myself. Oh, no." His voice was filled with tiredness and sarcasm. None of them deserved it, talking to them like that. Sometimes, just sometimes. Niall can't always be the happy one. 

"Don't do this, don't go down this path..." Zayn started to speak and Niall sighed heavily. 

"This path? What path do you think I'm going through?" Niall questioned a little harshly but he didn't mean to be. Not that he made an effort not to say anything. 

"Pushing us away." Zayn responded shocking Niall into silence. Yeah... That made sense. Zayn could always read him better than anyone else. 

He banged his head against the car seat, closing his eyes. "I can't be the one who's always laughing anymore." He spoke quietly, not looking at any of them as he scratched the arm without the tattoo. Only lightly. He didn't get far as Liam placed his hand on his. Niall let him and squeezed his hand just this once. Because as much as it pained him, he wasn't going to be holding his hand for a while. 

"No one is asking you to be." Louis spoke quietly. 

Niall would have usually chuckled in response to that, but instead, he kept his face blank. He wanted to learn how to hide his emotions. The next few months were going to be hell. 

"Don't miss me." Niall whispered mainly to Liam, who cupped Niall's chin, making sure he was looking straight into Liam's beautiful eyes. "You're not going anywhere. Neither am I." Liam then kissed him softly on the lips and Niall savoured the moment as best he could. 

There were going to be changes. 

Whether they were good changes or not, well, that remained to be seen. 

Harry's POV

He was worried. 

Louis messaged him as soon as they had done the interview. He was worried for Niall - he was struggling and Harry wasn't there for him. Opening Insta, he posted a selfie, it wasn't a happy selfie, he didn't want to lie to the fans anymore. It was a sad selfie, changing the filter to black and white. He captioned it 'Stay strong, be brave'. 

He hoped Niall knew that was meant for him. 

Eddie hadn't messaged him since Sheffield. At least he had tried, it was a lot to take on and most of it wasn't Harry's place to say. He couldn't think about that right now. He was trying to clear his mind. His thoughts. 

In order to do that, he called Louis. 

"Hey, H." He picked up after the first ring. 

"Lou, I've been thinking." 

"Don't think too hard" Harry could practically hear his smirk. 

"Shut up. We're married now. Have been for three months and four days..." 

"Not like you've been counting or anything, Haz" Louis interrupted and Harry blushed. "I know you're blushing. I wish I could be with you tonight. We're... Rehearsal tonight." 

Harry frowned. It stung they were doing things without him. Ignore the feeling, Harry. That was why you phoned. "I understand, Lou. I was thinking, how would you feel about starting a family?" He rushed out, nervous about asking the question. He knew Louis probably wasn't ready to look for surrogate. Probably wasn't ready for a baby. He just, he just had to ask. In case he was. 

"I... Haz... Can I get back to you?" He knew the sound of Louis's voice. He needed to think. He needed to process what Harry had just asked. That was fine by him. It was. He wasn't even expecting an answer, he wouldn't even have been surprised if Louis had hung up straight away. 

"Of course, love. Say to Niall that post was for him. For you. For all of you. Bye, boo." Harry didn't wait for the reply as he hung up. His heart was beating fast. Too fast. 

What had he just done?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's POV three days later.

He didn't know what to tell the boys. He didn't even know what to think himself. What to do... What to say. He just didn't know.

At that moment his phone pinged and curiousity got the better of him. He raised his eyebrows, Niall had posted on Instagram for the first time in days. It was the longest he had gone without posting, the worst part? He didn't talk to them. Rehearsal, polite interviews, hard exterior, no smiling and laughable Niall, no cheekily holding hands with Liam when fans aren't looking. The old Niall had gone. When Niall said, don't miss me, he had truly meant something. None of them realised what until it was too late. 

Instagram post:   
'niallhoran: Gonna hit rock bottom, anyone need anything? Xx   
Niam_forever: oh fuck Jesus he's hot in black   
zayn: my bro!   
niallhoran replied to Zayn: Ofc man!   
liampayneofficial: Ni, answer the phone xx  
Onedirectionfan2: Niall never smokes, should we be concerned?   
niallhoran replied to onedirectionfan2 Nah, darlin. I'm just fine. '

Louis stared. Louis's attention was only on the cigarettes and caption, as well as the comments. He's going to hit rock bottom... He's... Shit. Before he could even comment or like anything, Liam was calling him. Louis answered straight away. It was probably going to be about the fact that Niall had replied to fans and Zayn's comments and not his. 

"He's ignoring me! He's smoking and ignoring me! Louis, the love of my life is not leaving me like this!" Liam sounded like he had been crying and his voice cracked towards the end. Louis hadn't heard Liam cry in a long, long time. He was their rock, their shoulder to cry on. To hear him so panicked, so upset... It broke Louis. 

"Alright, Liam. He isn't. We're going to make sure he isn't. I'm certain he loves you too-" 

"How can you say that? When he hasn't told me it was me he loved in Never have I ever?" Liam questioned and Louis didn't know what to say, that was when he heard chatting and talking, loud music in the background. He frowned deeply, that sounded a lot like...

"Where are you, Li?" 

"In a bar. Getting a drink. I'll text you." 

"Liam, its five pm -" Liam had hung up. 

Louis cursed loudly. 

Half an hour later he was outside the bar Liam claimed to be at. Louis had no idea what to expect but as he entered, this wasn't it. Liam was dancing with some girls and guys in the middle of the dancefloor, a drink in hand not looking too out of it yet. 

Louis walked over to him and pulled him away for a moment. Liam was sweating, wearing a plain white tee with his skinny black jeans. When Liam finally realised who it was, the man grinned brightly at him. 

"Louis! Hiiii, you took your time. Why did you pull me away? I'm 'onna have annother shot and post on Insta" Liam's speech was already slurred. Louis cursed inwardly. 

He didn't say no, how could he? When Liam was feeling like...

"Say dickhead!" Liam slurred and Louis opened his mouth to speak but Liam had already taken the picture and Louis groaned. That wasn't going to be a good photo. 

'liampayneofficial: it's five o'clock somewhere  
Louist91: alright payno, could have let me pose you loosah. I'm taking you home.   
liampayneofficial replied: oh, no. Haz would be jell. Im stayi foe anotherrr..  
Louist91: oh ffs not like that. Li? Where'd you... I take my eye off you for one minute..  
ziamlovrr32: Niall smoking and Liam drinking. This isn't good. Still looks hot tho  
harrystyles: @Louist91 call me when you can, love. I'm concerned. Xx  
Harriesforever: EVEN HARRY IS CONCERNED WHAT...   
Zayn: Shit. @Louist91 call me too.   
larryisreal: shits happened. @niamlove13 answer the group chat  
edsheeranofc: lads?   
34, 091 other comments...'

Louis had turned switched his phone off a while ago. He eventually found Liam grinding on a random blonde girl and Louis groaned inwardly. This wasn't good. Not at all. It was only seven in the evening. 

Again, Louis dragged Liam away from the girl before it got complicated. "You'll regret going with her. You'll ruin anything you had with Niall" Louis hissed in Liam's ear to try and get him to behave and stop acting like someone had broken his heart. Which, Louis knew, was why Liam was acting out like this. 

"I know hes goinb through shit but he's not tellin me anythig like whats the poit in tryin?" Liam was slurring every word now and Louis sighed heavily. "I can't be there for everyone all the time. I'm daddy directioner and meant to be responsible, shit. I'm meant to be better than this." Liam was leaning onto Louis who stood there awkwardly not knowing whether to pat his back or hand him tissues. 

"Li, be patient. He'll get out of this phrase he's in." Louis spoke softly. 

"If he doesn't? If he breaks my heart again?" 

"He'll have me to deal with." Louis spoke in a dangerous way. "Come on, lets get out of here, Li." Thankfully, Liam nodded, wiping his eyes he held onto Louis as he stumbled out of the bar. They stepped into Louis car, luckily, Louis didn't have anything to drink so he could drive back to their home. While he did, he phoned Zayn first as he was tagged in a few comments half an hour ago. 

"Zayn, what's wrong?" 

"It's Niall. Hes passed out in my bed and I saw fresh scars on his hips. He also said how much he had fucked up and even though he fucked up he's still going to continue fucking up so he can feel pain. He won't remember telling me this. He was high. More than I'd ever been when I was in that stage.." Zayn ranted and Louis thanked God that Liam had passed out before he phoned Zayn. 

"Shit. This is fucked up. Liams heart has been broken these last few days because Niall has been doing everything he can to push him away." Louis snarled, emotions getting to the better of him. 

"Is it working? Will they... But they were so happy together. Niall was happy." Louis could hear the care and soft tone in Zayn's voice. 

"I don't think it will work. Liam is in too deep to let Niall go that easily." Louis said thoughtfully. "We'll be home in ten, Z. Im gonna phone Haz." 

They said their goodbyes and shortly after, Harry picked up the phone, not giving Louis a chance to speak. 

"Lou, I'm so worried. Niall smoking. Not being himself. And Liam drinking at five in the afternoon. The press are going to have a field day, but that's not it. They're not breaking up, right? Right? When they weren't even official in the first place but -" 

"Haz, breath love." Louis said softly, smiling hearing his husband's voice. It sounded tired and hoarse, but he chose to ignore that. 

"Sorry, Lou." He heard him mutter and Louis bit his lip and smiled. He always smiled when Harry spoke. Just hearing his voice was good enough for Louis. 

"You don't need to apologise. Niall is doing all he can to push Liam away. Liam finally broke, saying he couldn't be responsible anymore. He couldn't look after us when he couldn't look after himself was what he was trying to say before he passed out." Louis explained softly. 

There was silence for a few minutes. Comfortable silence, Louis didn't mind at all. 

"They'll get through this. They'll realise how much they care for each other. Niall, he's... I think this is all my fault." 

Louis's eyes widened in shock, a gasp escaping his lips. "Love, how is this your fault?" Tears threatening to fall as he felt like he already knew the answer. 

"I'm dying. If he thinks that One Direction will go on a hiatus, even if we did quit Simon's contract and he got sued, I think he's going through, 'whats the point' stage. What's the point in living if everything you've worked for is slowly falling apart?" Harry coughed a little at the end and Louis sniffed, holding back his tears. There was only one way Harry could have come up with that theory. 

"Haz. That was a very detailed hypothesis. I... You. If you're falling, Harry. I'll catch you." Louis knew this wasn't about them but right now that's what he needed Harry to hear. No matter how many times he has said it before. 

"Be there for Niall and Liam. It's not the end for them. I wrote a song, it's not finished yet." Harry said and Louis knew he was changing the subject and let it slide for now. 

"Oh? What's it called?" 

"Falling." 

And suddenly, Louis had an idea for a song he wanted to put in the album that was dedicated to Harry, that was coming out in just over a month. 

"We're back home, love. I need to sort this mess out. I'll phone you when I can." Louis said. "Send my love, boo." Harry responded as they hang up. 

Breathing heavily, he needed a moment before thinking of stepping out of the car. 

He heard movement from next to him and bit his lip as Liam stirred awake, groaning. "Louis... I'm gonna throw up"

That was all the motivation he needed to leave the car in a heartbeat.


	16. To Be So Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's POV. As I've said previously, the songs you don't recognise are made up.

"So come on close your eyes and see  
The only one in this whole  
Distance, oh yeah  
And I realized, I gotta hold back

Left when I was deep in trouble  
Just needed something someone to lean on

Sometimes, oh, my heart feels like it pounds  
If I just hold on, if I just hold on  
My words burn inside, they get in the way  
How can I cover up, mask the hurt?

You know I find another attitude, every time  
You turn me on you light my fuse  
Books read on the job  
For thinking, for standing, for writing

Come on baby, baby, come on baby  
Come on baby, baby, come on baby

Sometimes, oh, my heart feels like it pounds  
If I just hold on, if I just hold on  
My words burn inside, they get in the way  
How can I cover up, mask the hurt?

Like us on one another  
Like us on one another

Sometimes, oh, my heart feels like it pounds  
If I just hold on, if I just hold on  
My words burn inside, they get in the way  
How can I cover up, mask the hurt?"

"Well done, Niall. Perfect, one take. A lot of raw emotion. I need you to stay behind, alright? Don't leave the room just yet. Liam, you're up." Stuart said sternly and he couldn't say no to the boss. It's been a month of him acting, well. Like a dick. To the lads, to the fans, to Liam. He was pushing them away. Why? To not feel numb anymore. To actually feel pain. He had relapsed into hurting himself, in places no one could see. It had gotten quite bad but how else was he meant to feel? He hasn't seen Harry in a while, which is good because the moment Niall would look at Harry, he'd break his bad boy persona. He'd literally break. Sighing, he took out his journal from his bag and leant on the nearest surface, which was a piano and continued a drawing he's been working on for a week or so. Usually, he didn't take up drawing. But recently it's helped calm him. Distract him. 

"What if you could ask me how I feel?  
From another and I might turn blue  
Or I might sound blue  
It was blue colours in your eyes

First time I ever seen anything blue  
It was under my sink

But in my heart I see a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
Even though the sun is in the blue sky

If someone should ask you then you would know  
Who made all the sky shine so blue  
Cities of brown  
Cities of brown turning red  
Until the skies are blue  
Take a step outside your door

But in my heart I see a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
Even though the sun is in the blue sky

I wanna live in a dream  
A deep blue sky with no hurricane

But in my heart I see a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
See a blue sky  
Even though the sun is in the blue sky" 

Niall hadn't heard Liam sing in weeks. He had always disappeared before hearing the others. This was a new song that was added to the album. It made his heart ache. He wasn't numb anymore. He... He wanted to go. To run away. Could he run away from his problems forever? Yes. Would they catch up to him eventually? Yes.

"Is that how you're feeling, Niall?" He heard Louis question and Niall frowned, confused. When he looked at Louis, he found him staring at the drawing. He sighed deeply. He had drawn his reflection inside a tear drop that was landing in the ocean. 

He knew he had. But he usually had time to hide his work. He wasn't expecting anyone to actually see it. Especially, Louis of all people. 

"It doesn't matter." Niall said a little too harshly. Louis didn't flinch, instead, he took a picture, ignoring Niall's questioning stare. "I'm showing Haz." Was all Louis said. 

Niall couldn't question him as Stuart asked for their attention. Zayn had already sung first and Louis's songs were done last week. 

"We're going to sing some of the songs live and announce the album tomorrow. We need you to post on Instagram etc. None of you have told Harry?" They shook their heads. 

Harry... 

Niall closed his eyes. He couldn't let the others see emotion. They would think there was hope. 

"Niall?" He heard someone say his name and he opened his eyes and glared at whoever it was. Unfortunately, it was Liam. Who looked very hurt in those gorgeous eyes of his. The eyes he fell in love with. 

"There was an article the other day, Niall. About you falling down a rabbit hole." Stuart got his attention and Niall frowned, not getting the metaphor, he then said, "I don't remember falling anywhere." 

He heard Louis snigger and he glanced at Liam who was smiling ever so slightly. Zayn hadn't said anything but there was a smirk. It took a few moments and his mouth shaped into an 'oh' shape. "Right. And?" 

"It's had over a million views and retweets, as well as screenshots. It commented on your tattoo towards the end. Hiding scars." Niall flinched. "We can delete it, but..." 

"People have already seen it. Deleting it would only confirm their assumptions." Niall spoke and he was aware that all eyes in the room were on him. What, did they want him to say it was true? That all the article said was true? He didn't need to say it. He just glared right back at them. Showing no emotion. He'd got better at that. 

"I have an idea." Louis said through the silence. Niall rolled his eyes. "Yay, we're saved." He said voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Shut it, you idiot." Louis finally snapped at him. "You're not going to succeed in pushing us away. Harry won't let you do that." He snarled and Niall, unfortunately, couldn't hide his emotions this time at the mention of Harry's name. Louis saw and smirked. "You still care. So shut up and listen to me." 

For once, Niall did as Louis told him to, eyes glued to a spot on the floor. 

"Thank you. So, Niall. You need to post that drawing to Instagram. With your song title. Do it as a two in one post. The drawing and album cover." Louis said. Niall was actually thinking about it. 'Light my fuse' could work with that drawing. Not that he'd ever admit to that out loud. 

"It'll get people talking. Then, if you are done with your bad boy Niall phrase, as your fans are calling you, you can slowly ease back to your old self." Louis finished. Eyes were on him again. 

The thing was. He wasn't feeling numb anymore. All he had to do was hear Harry's name or look at Liam and his problems, his numbness, it all went away just for a few seconds. Could he show that again? Even if it was only for a few months to make the fans and most importantly, Harry happy? Even if he wasn't happy himself.... He could even ask Liam to be his boyfriend... Like he was going to before... He doubted Liam would even trust him again after the pain he put him through. 

He took a glance towards Liam, who was already looking at him, eyes deep in concern and care. Along with another emotion he couldn't quite place. Niall moved his hand to Liam's necklace that he had got him a few months prior. He still wore it everyday. He glanced to Louis and nodded once before grabbing his drawing, placing it in his bag quickly and leaving the room without another word. 

He was sure he heard someone say "Progress". He was pretty sure it was Louis.


	17. Heartbreak Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for character death and tears.   
> Hope you're liking the story, just a few more chapters to post.

Harry's POV (Sydney, Australia) 

He didn't know if he'd make it through the whole performance. He could have let Stuart know, he could have let the boys know. He just, he didn't want to let them down. He didn't want to let the fans down. After all, the last concert he had been at was Sheffield. He owed it to them to be there. 

He had called his Mum and Gemma before the show, telling them that he loved them. He didn't know why, he just had a gut instinct to. He had messaged Eddie, and he left a voice note for Louis, then he did the same for the boys. Lastly, he went to Twitter. Just because, why not? If he felt like he wasn't going to make it... Though he didn't want to worry the boys. 

Always in my heart, Lou. (He also tagged Zayn, Niall and Liam) Stay strong, be brave. Thank you. All the love, H. 

The tweet ended up being saved to his drafts. 

Half the concert went well and it was almost like it always had been. 

It was when he chose to sing his own song that he talked to Stuart ten minutes before going on about that it happened. 

"And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again!" Harry opened his heart out to the fans, but before he could finish his song, he felt his legs shake like jelly, he felt his body go numb, he saw the room go dizzy and he lost his voice. All he could feel was coldness. It was freezing even though it was July. Even though he was sweaty just moments before. He felt so tired and he literally felt like he was falling through nothingness. 

I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Not properly. 

It was what he thought before it all went dark, before he fell to the ground. Before he heard Louis's voice, before he knew his time was up. 

Niall's POV (Sydney, Australia.) 

It was 8:30 when Harry collapsed on stage after singing be brave. 

It was 8:45 when they cancelled the rest of the show to take Harry to the hospital when he didn't open his eyes straight away. Apologising profusely to the fans and they'd reschedule. 

It was 9:15 when Harry was put into the emergency room.

Four long hours he was there, clinging on, fighting on the life support machine. 

It was 01:32 when Harry's heart stopped. 

It was 01:32 when Harry Tomlinson-Styles ... Died. 

Niall held Liam until he fell asleep in his arms. He then removed himself from Liam, placed his jacket over him and left a note. It was four o'clock in the morning but he had to get away. He had to, god. He had to feel the pain Harry went through. It was his fault. It was all his fault. If he had seen them walk into the road before, without being distracted by Liam, Harry would have never have... 

It was his fault. 

Niall wanted to scream so loud as he got into the car. His eyes tearing up, red and blotchy, his happy persona had only lasted a week, not even that. Not properly. To the fans, he'd been happy since his most liked Instagram post a month ago. 

Oh how easy it was for him to hide his true feelings now. 

Niall started the car, played Shawn Mendes and drove out of the hospital car park. Everyone else was asleep. It wasn't like anyone saw him leave. But where could he go now? He barely knew Australia. A thought crossed his mind to see how much it was to travel from Australia to Ireland. 

But he had to be in Australia, for the band. For Liam... For Louis. They all needed each other. 

For one night, though. Niall would loose himself. One night of driving. It was all he needed. 

It was then he remembered. He took out his phone, placed it on his phone holder and opened up messenger. Harry had left him a voice note. He had only seen it after Harry was put on the life... Niall closed his eyes, breathing heavily, he played the recording. 

"Nialler. 

Hey, bud. I know it's been hard. I know you've been faking happiness. I know you're not the Irish boy we all needed to look after all those years ago. 

You've grown into your own person, your own shell. Your own loveable self. If only you'd accept it. It's okay to love yourself, alright? I love you, brother. 

And it's because I love you I'm telling you this. 

I've been faking it too. The happiness, the smiles, everything to the lives and the concerts. I've been so fucking tired, I've been ready to give up. I've seriously thought about ending it before I end up pushing myself too hard. I spoke to Lou about that, he asked why we've lost you. I said it was all me. It was my fault. But then I thought some more. And I thought, I know my Nialler. So, mister church boy. Or should we really call you the bad boy now, huh? Don't go thinking this is all your fault. 

It isn't, Nialler. 

You can't change events. 

You can't change that you were talking to Liam instead of looking out for your two best friends. 

You can't change the fact that we were hit pretty badly, if it wasn't for you and Zayn, it could have been a lot worse. Lou and I were the idiots, Niall. Not you. Never you. 

Please don't shut yourself from the boys. They need you now more than ever. I know what you're thinking. What about me? What about what I need? I'll give you a name. In fact, I won't give you a name. I'll give you two letters. You need Li, Nialler. You need him just like he needs you. 

And whatever happens, if the band decides they can't go on, just remember. Remember who you need to lean on. 

I'll miss you, brother. So much. All my love, Harry Tomlinson-Styles" 

At some point during the note, Niall had to pull to the side of the road as he couldn't see from the crying. He couldn't breath, his heart was aching. He had never cried so much in his life. Harry. He always knew him the most. Even if Zayn was good at reading him, it was always Harry who knew something was up. He knew he had been faking. 

Harry had been faking... 

They were both fucking idiots. But Niall wouldn't have changed it for the world. 

Opening Twitter, he didn't care that it was now five in the morning. 

Words can't describe how lucky I am to have known you, Harry. To be lucky enough to call you family. Rest up, brother. 

He was still crying, the tears hadn't stopped as he sent the tweet out. Time to be brave. Time to be Niall Horan. No more faking. No more acting. 

Liam needs me. I'll be there, babe.


	18. Love you, goodbye

Louis's POV -

He hadn't left the hospital. It had been twenty four hours since he had found out the news. Twenty four hours since he saw Niall leave Liam's arms to only join him again two hours later, eyes blotchy and red from crying, wrapping tightly round Liam like their lives depended on it. Zayn was smoking outside the hotel, he knew he was. But... Louis was staring at a spot on the hospital wall, reliving the moment again and again. 

"We're sorry, he didn't make it. We're bringing family in..." 

Whatever else they said, Louis had no idea. He didn't know what to do. Or what to think. He wasn't even crying anymore. His tears were stuck in his swollen eyes. He couldn't break down again. He was stronger than that, right? 

"Louis, it's me, Anne." 

Louis looked up and stood, his legs felt numb from sitting in the same place for so long as he hugged Anne tightly, sniffing but not letting himself cry again. "I'm sorry, I was meant to protect him." He whispered, voice breaking towards the end. 

"Louis, this is not your fault. Don't ever think that." Anne said sternly and all Louis could do was nod. "There's something we should have told you." 

Louis frowned, looking at Anne she looked like she had been crying previously but right now she looked like she had seen a ghost. 

"Anne?" Louis questioned, voice full of confusion. He looked at Niall and Liam who's reactions were the same and Louis couldn't take the suspense any more as he turned around. 

There Harry was. Standing in front of him. Wearing, well. Something Harry wouldn't wear. He was in loose black rolled up jeans and a hooded checkered jacket with a black beanie over his hair. Louis opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He tried again, 

"Harry?" 

There was an awkward like cough coming out from his mouth and Harry shook his head. 

"Eddie." 

Eddie's POV -

As he walked towards the building where One Direction were mourning the loss of his twin, his mind went back to the events of last night. He had gone to the concert, just to please his friend Winter, when Harry had collapsed. The song he was singing was apparently one that hadn't been heard of before, all the fans didn't get to hear the end as he was rushed to hospital. An hour later, the phone rang. Unfortunately, he was fast asleep and always kept his phone on silent. He was the only family close to Harry at the point of his death. Even if they weren't as close as they should be. Apparently, Harry had his number down as an emergency contact if they couldn't get hold of Anne. 

But they managed to get a private plane over and should be there soon. And Eddie didn't get in till about seven in the morning. 

He paused as he was about to enter, he knew Anne and Gemma were on their way but he couldn't just, arrive. He couldn't just be the ghost of Harry. He couldn't do that to the band. Just as he was about to turn around, he heard a voice. 

"Great. Gets better and better." 

It was full of sarcasm and Eddie recognised the voice in a heartbeat. Zayn. 

"Let me guess, long lost twin brother of Harry Styles. Shows up because no other family members are here and just happens to be in Sydney where you live, right?" Zayn's Bradford accent was heavy and Eddie suddenly lost all abilities to speak. Zayn finally looked at him, expecting an answer. 

Eddie swallowed loudly, heart beating fast. Shock in his eyes disguised the attraction. He hoped. Glaring, he folded his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows. 

"Smoking kills, Zayn." 

"Pity those who are actually dead, Harry's ghost. Since you're not denying anything and you can't take your eyes off me. What should I know about you?" 

Eddie stepped closer to Zayn and kept his eyebrows raised. "You should know, mate. I'm not Harry. I'm never going to be Harry. I'm Eddie Robyn. If you seriously think for one minute I'm 'ere to replace him you've got another thing coming -" 

Zayn's lips were on his. Eddie closed his eyes and kissed back. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but God, those lips were rough, were kissable. He didn't care about the smoking taste in Zayn's mouth as they hungrily kissed. 

He didn't know what he was doing but in that moment he knew Zayn was going to be a big part of his life. Zayn moaned into the kiss and Eddie smirked, running a hand through Zayn's hair, who touched his hand and Eddie opened his eyes to find him mock glaring. "don't touch my hair" his voice was hoarse from the rough kiss and before Eddie could even reply Zayn was kissing him again. 

It was Eddie's turn to moan loudly through the kiss and he backed Zayn into a part of the car park where no one would see them and then backed him against the wall with a smirk. "This is how you deal with loss then, Zayn?" He whispered in his ear and Zayn grunted. 

"It's the most efficient way, Eddie." 

A short conversation an an hour or so later, they both sorted themselves out, nodded at each other, Eddie winking at Zayn before Eddie left to go in. Awkwardly bumping into Anne on the way up. 

"Eddie? Is that really you?" 

It had been sixteen years since he last saw Anne. He didn't even know what to say to her as he pulled his hat on, placing his hands in his pockets. He shrugged, "Yeah, it's me." He responded and didn't expect a tearful sob and a hug as she greeted him. 

He didn't respond well to emotions. He just patted her on the back, while Zayn entered a few moments later looking high as fuck but also so good. "Anne, who's that?" Zayn questions and Eddie forgets that Zayn isn't meant to know him. 

"Ah, well. Wait until we get to the others, I think Louis needs to hear this first." 

"You mean he doesn't... You realise it's going to be very obvious to them on who that is don't you?" Zayn questioned and Eddie resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Why don't you spell it out for them, then?" Eddie retorted before he could even think of what he was saying and Anne sent him a questioning glance and shook her head. 

"Boys." She muttered, walking up the stairs. Eddie trailed a little behind her and used that opportunity to punch Zayn on the arm who hissed quietly, trying not to draw attention to them. 

"What was that for?" Zayn asked, rubbing his arm and Eddie sighed. "I don't know, you were being an idiot. I'm also scared on what the other reactions from the band are gonna be" Eddie said quite quickly and Zayn had trouble understanding some of it because of the strong Aussie accent. 

"Well, you're the spitting image of Harry, just have more of a tan, different colour hair and higher jawbones. And an Aussie accent. Also, a big -" Zayn was interrupted by Eddie's hand on his mouth. 

"You're not helping." Eddie grunted out and removed his hand. 

Zayn shrugged sheepishly and offered him to go first into the room and even though Eddie hesitated, he stepped in. Zayn shook his head. He was messed up right now, and the fact that he just fucked Harry's twin... He just hoped no one would find out. Ever. 

"Harry?" 

Eddie didn't know what to do, or say. Louis, Niall and Liam looked like they had seen a ghost. He shook his head and coughed awkwardly before speaking. 

"Eddie" 

"Anne?" 

"Zayn" 

"Liam"

"Niall ... Wait why am I saying my own name?" Niall questioned making everyone get back into reality. Eddie sniggered and shrugged. 

"I'm sorry, honey. Harry didn't even know. Eddie is Harry's twin." She said biting her lips nervously and Louis looked shocked. Even more than he was before. Eddie didn't know what he was expecting for Louis to say, so when he then said, "You're telling me Harry didn't know he had a twin on the other side of the fooking world?" In his strong Doncaster, pissed off accent, Eddie's eyes widened considerably. 

"We had our reasons darling -" Anne said quickly but Louis wasn't having any of it. "Do you realise how important it is to keep twins together?! You can't split twins. Hell, if Daisy and Phoebe were apart for longer than five minutes we'd know about it!" He was shouting at this point and Anne was tearing up. 

Eddie had to do something. Even if what Louis was saying was right. 

"Louis, Anne. He found out. Gemma told him when she thought he was sleeping. He didn't know how to tell you Louis." Eddie spoke before anyone else could get a word in. 

All of a sudden all eyes were on him and he would find out in a few moments if that was good or bad. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, Louis was staring right into his soul. He bit his lip and looked down to the floor, which was a lot more interesting than staring into the eyes of someone who had just lost their husband. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and Eddie couldn't help but look up, he and Louis made eye contact for a few moments before Louis spoke once more, silencing the room. 

"I'm sorry you weren't best man."


	19. Cross Your Mind

Niall's POV -

They were finally back home. The funeral was today. Many, many of their fans were keeping up the hashtag 'rest up, H.' and it went world wide in a matter of minutes. That's not what Niall was caring about right now. He shook Liam's shoulders to wake him up, kissing him on the forehead with a sad smile on his face. 

Waking up, Liam frowned and still looked tired and had dry, tear stained eyes. Liam glanced to Niall and placed a sweet kiss on his lips and Niall closed his eyes and made the most of the moment. He had missed this. He had missed Liam. "Are you ready for today?" Liam questioned quietly. 

Niall shook his head, "No. I don't think I could ever be ready for this." 

Liam nodded, then looked over to Zayn and Eddie. "What about you, Eddie?" 

The twin shook his head, he looked like he hadn't slept on the journey, tired eyes and messy hair. "Like Niall said. But I hardly knew him... The only memory I have of him is when he dressed up as Spiderman on the first day of nursery." Eddie said with a smile, obviously thinking back to that day. 

Niall chuckled lightly. "Sounds like something Harry would do." He replied. He wasn't sure what to think of Eddie, but... Harry would have wanted them to be friends. So, Niall was giving him a chance, to be let in. 

"Louis, are you holding up?" Liam questioned, as he knew Zayn was fine after a nod from him. 

Louis had been sitting on his own, in the window seat. He looked at them eyes blotchy red from crying. "I won't be fine for a long time lads. I might even pull a Niall and try and get rid of you all." 

Niall glared and pulled his knees to his chest, feeling very small. He wasn't ready to talk about how he had acted. He definitely wasn't ready to joke about it. 

"Don't joke about that, Louis." Liam spoke wrapping his arm around Niall protectively. "You are not going to do that." Liam said authoritatively. 

"I said try, being the key word." Louis replied weekly. Zayn rolled his eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long, long day. 

"We stick together, alright? If photos get leaked and Eddie is discovered... What's the story?" Zayn questioned and Niall glanced at him with confusion and curiosity. 

"The truth?" Niall replied and Zayn stared at him for a few moments, before turning to Eddie who looked just as confused as Niall did. 

"Is that fine with you?" Zayn asked and Eddie shrugged. 

"Makes the most sense. Family reason remains secret. Just that Nan moved to Australia and took me with her, while Harry's Mother wanted us both to stay, they couldn't manage it due to personal reasons." Eddie spoke like he had said it before. 

Niall blinked a few times. "Will you tell us the actual reason?" He questioned, his knees still clutched to his stomach. Eddie hesitated, and Niall heard a sigh, but what surprised him was the nod. 

"Our father. Not step dad, not the Dad Harry had. Our biological father. He was an alcoholic and abusive. One day, Harry had been out playing at a football match when our dad took it too far. Gem was home so she protected me. She made the decision to send me away and told Mum, who told our Father to leave." Eddie said taking a breather, tears rolling down his face. "I don't know what would have happened if Gem wasn't there that day. But Harry blamed himself, even at the age of not truly understanding what had gone on. It was traumatic for the both of us when we had to say goodbye." 

"Stop, Eddie." Louis's voice cracked, wiping his eyes and Niall hadn't realised he had been crying until he licked his lips, a salty tear landing on his bottom lip as he hid his head in Liam's shoulder. 

Eddie must have realised how upset he had made the group and stopped talking, not even replying back to Louis. That story, Harry blaming himself... Niall knew that was something Harry would have done. He had a big heart. Too big of a heart. 

Niall knew one thing. 

No one would ever forget Harry Tomlinson-Styles. 

Louis's POV -

After a long day and evening, Louis wanted nothing more than to be by himself, in his own flat back in Donny. Unfortunately, he still had to be with their private, one direction house in London. Why? Well, there was something he never told the boys. Something he should have told them... Just couldn't quite manage it. 

Right now, they were gathered in the living room, Niall and Liam cuddling together under a blanket, Zayn and Eddie just sitting together like they've known each other for ages. Perhaps they just clicked. Louis wasn't going to judge. He didn't know how to feel about Eddie and if it wasn't for Harry's voice note, he probably would have pushed the Aussie lad away. 

He would have pushed everyone away. 

Louis breathed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he bit his lip. "Harry and I were going to break the news to you after the Sydney concert..." He trailed off, wiping away a lone tear rolling down his cheek. 

He took his phone out and showed a picture of a pregnant women smiling as Harry's hand was on the quite large bump. 

He heard a few gasps and Louis continued. "This is our surrogate. She's thirteen weeks pregnant with mine and Harry's child." He couldn't hold back a sob. 

"Louis..." He heard Liam say and Louis didn't even need to look up to hear the shock in Liam's voice. "What... Who is she? Why didn't you tell us?" He sounded broken and Louis shrugged, biting his lip once more.

"How could I put into a conversation that Harry's last wish was for us to have a child?" Louis questioned rhetorically and Liam's eyes widened. 

"Did you decide on names?" Louis raised an eyebrow at Eddie's question, not able to hide his surprise. He nodded, however. "If a girl, Darcy Charlotte." 

Louis's smile matched Niall's, who had remembered the interview when they were talking about baby names and Harry had said he had always liked the name Darcy. 

"For a boy, Freddie Reign." Louis spoke after a moment and Eddie smiled. "Good choices, mate." 

"Didn't fancy naming him after me, Louis?" Zayn asked with amusement in his eyes and Louis grinned, shaking his head. "There can only be one Zayn." 

"What about baby Nialler? That has a nice ring to it!" Niall spoke with a pout and Louis chuckled lightly. 

"When you and Liam tie the knot, you two can discuss names, but Niall Junior will have to wait, I'm afraid." Louis teased making Zayn and Eddie laugh while Liam and Niall flushed bright red, looking anywhere but at Louis. 

"We have a meeting on Friday, don't we? With Stuart?" Zayn questions and Louis nodded. 

"I say we have a break from each other till then. We can decide what to do, how to go forward... We can think about that then but I think right now we just need to take time out. Four days." Zayn suggested and Louis wasn't arguing with that. In fact, he was thankful. 

"I'm going to go and pack." Louis spoke after everyone had gave the nod of agreement. 

Four days to get his shit together. 

He could do that.


	20. Sign of The Times

"The news of Harry Tomlinson-Styles death had taken the world to a stand still. The funeral was done privately with close family only. A few photos were leaked, some say on purpose, showing who was there. Louis dressed in an all black suit, Zayn, Niall and Liam were also dressed in black or dark blue suits. One person caught our eye, however and that was Harry Tomlinson-Styles' twin. Yes, you read that correctly. Eddie Robyn, from Sydney Australia, attended the funeral in a dark grey suit with a tight plain white shirt and his hair was styled short, but longer and if possible curlier. Eddie posted on his Instagram a picture of Harry going to Nursery and a baby picture of them both together, with the caption 'I'm sorry we weren't the close twins we were all those years ago, I'm just glad you found brothers and a husband who loves you just as much as me if not more. Love you, brother. Sleep well.' 

A heartfelt post, the story of how the twins were separated is in another article here. 

Harry Tomlinson-Styles will always be remembered.

What comes next for One Direction is yet to be answered. "

Niall sighed as he finished reading. It was the day of the meeting with Stuart. It had just been him and Liam in the house, Zayn had gone back to Bradford to spend time with family, Eddie had gone with Anne and Gemma back to Cheshire and Louis had gone back to his flat in Doncaster. 

Liam had stayed here with him and Niall, even though he felt like he shouldn't be, was happier than he had been in a while. 

"What did the article say, anything we have to mention to Stuart?" Liam asked as he got back into bed, snuggling next to Niall with coffee placing next to him and hot chocolate he gave to Niall, who shook his head. 

"Not yet, it was actually quite a nice one. They mentioned Eddie, but put about his and Harry's story in a separate article. So this was just about Harry. I might put this one on my story." Niall answered as he drank his hot chocolate. Liam hummed in understanding. 

"That's good, makes a change." Liam spoke softly. 

"We've got an hour til the meeting, Li. What should we do?" Niall asked putting his phone down after updating his story and he focused on his boyfriend. Liam had asked him to be his boyfriend on a date night two days ago. It was the most easiest yes he could have ever agreed to. 

"I can think of one or two things" Liam replied with a smirk and a wink and Niall blushed. "Oh?" He questioned innocently. Too innocently. 

"You know what I mean" Liam whispered in Niall's ear and he moaned as he kissed his sweet spot and gave him a love bite, lower neck that could be hidden with a shirt. Niall closed his eyes as Liam kissed his lips tenderly and sweetly. Niall ran a hand through Liam's hair, which had grown longer, almost getting to Harry's shoulder length hair but not quite. Niall liked it though. "We'll have to be quick," Niall spoke after Liam started to leave trails of kisses. 

"Aye, aye Captain." Niall couldn't help but laugh and moan at the same time. He loved Liam with all his heart. 

An hour later, they had met with the lads and Stuart at the studio in London. Niall was wearing tight black trousers and a blue and white striped button up shirt, his necklace that Liam gave him proudly on his neck and his hair was just a mess. That was how Niall liked it. 

He looked at the others, who were sitting on the stools, Liam next to him wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt, showing his muscles. Louis wearing trackies and a hoodie, Zayn wearing smart trousers and a white button up shirt. 

"So, boys. We have a lot of important stuff to get through with this meeting." Stuart said and Niall nodded. "Firstly, might I say you all look good. The decision to take a few days from each other was a good one. Well done, Zayn." 

Zayn smiled and saluted at Stuart who chuckled lightly and Niall laughed happily, holding Liam's hand, giving a tight squeeze. 

"Secondly. Hiatus." 

Niall bit his lip and frowned. He wasn't sure how he felt about that word. If, if they did go on hiatus, would they ever return?! 

"I'm not expecting you to perform straight away. The album has done extremely well and if you were to do a tour, perhaps in a few months, it would be just as successful as the Love from yours truly tour." Stuart spoke and they were silent. Nobody spoke. 

"However, if you don't feel up to performing without Harry, your fans would understand. And a hiatus would be the next choice." 

"I just need a unanimous decision, today." 

Niall spoke first. "Would we ever return, if we went on hiatus now?" He questioned, quietly but everyone heard. 

"Realistically, I don't think so." Louis answered after a few moments of them thinking. "If we wanted to come back, after a year or however long it takes... I'd have my child to think about. If we go our separate ways, solo careers would be the way to go but it just wouldn't be the same without you three with me." 

"No matter what happens, remember who you need to lean on." Niall spoke into the silence. Eyes on him, he added, "The voice note Harry sent me." 

"He said the same thing to me," Zayn responded. "And me" Louis and Liam chorused at the same time. Niall frowned, and he smiled. 

"He knows we need each other. This was his way of saying he wanted us to continue. To be One Direction." Niall said, mainly to himself, not realising everyone was looking at Niall in a new light. 

"Alright, I've got an idea." Liam said and Niall glanced at his boyfriend and the attention was on Liam. "We do another tour. I've still got many tours in me. Whether solo or with you lads. We call the tour love you, goodbye. Visit as many countries as we can. Then, we go on hiatus afterwards. In time for Louis to be able to look after his kid."

"Since when were you the smart one?" Louis questioned with a grin. 

"A compliment, from Louis Tomlinson-Styles? Nialler, did you hear that? He just said I was smart!" Liam cheered and Niall laughed, "Well he's right." Niall grinned when Liam blushed. 

"Anyway! So, we'll announce the start of the tour in a few days... On Capital, since that station is literally just One Direction." Stuart spoke and Niall laughed, "Roman is my favourite." He commented. 

"Zayn spoke to me about an idea..." 

"Oh no" Niall joked and Zayn stuck his tongue out at him. 

"We can have a photographer. Taking photos on and off tour to keep up with social media posts and someone in charge of the One Direction account on Twitter. Like a social media manager, in a way. How do you guys feel about that?" Stuart asked. "It would take wait off my shoulders so I can focus more on Ed and you lot." 

"I like that. Who would it be?" Louis questioned and Zayn and Stuart shared a look before answering. "Eddie Robyn." 

"It's a good idea." Liam commented and Niall nodded after a moment. That would mean they would be seeing Eddie more often. He thought Eddie would go back to Sydney. But then, would Eddie do that? When that was where Harry... 

"Eddie would be with us all the time then?" Niall questioned and Stuart nodded. 

"Yes. So if we're all agreed, we need to discuss schedule..." 

The meeting went on like that for an hour or so. During that time, they had discussed the tour dates, Louis's dates, Eddie and interviews. Along with breaks and what not. 

Niall hoped this wasn't be the last tour. He knew it was going to be different without Harry, but ... Just how different?


	21. I'll catch You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Enjoy! There will be an epilogue posted. Let me know if you liked the story or not, I always appreciate feedback.

Louis's POV (6 months later) 

"So?" Niall questioned and Louis looked at his five best friends with the proudest look in his eyes. He uncovered his daughters face, her blue eyes were wide open as she looked around and he had her cradled in his arms as he spoke in response to Niall's question.

"Meet Darcy Charlotte." He wasn't expecting to hear a squeal from Niall, or a gasp from Eddie as he stood closer to the group. "Isn't she perfect?" Louis spoke in complete awe. 

"She has Harry's eyes." Liam commented, happy tears falling down his face. 

"I want one." Niall said and Liam laughed, "Isn't being an uncle alright for now?" Niall pouted in response as Louis laughed at the pair. "Zayn, do you want to hold her?" Louis asked and Zayn nodded with a true smile as he took her carefully, holding her head up as he did so, a tear falling down his cheek. 

Eddie took a picture as Zayn held Darcy and Louis smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He just wanted Harry to see their daughter. Unfortunately the world had other plans. 

Flashback to the morning- 

"We have One Direction with us today! The boys have completed another successful tour, Love you goodbye is by far the biggest tour sold by a boy band out to date. Niall, how are you feeling buddy?" Roman questioned and Niall grinned. "Great, just great. It was amazing to be on the road again and to have every stadium filled out was a dream." 

"You have all been successful. Was Eddie not going to join us today?" He asked and Louis shook his head. 

"He's got some well earned time off." Eddie was really popular, just as popular as Harry. Louis wasn't surprised by that. He was happy for Eddie. 

"Louis, how are you doing?" Roman asked seriously and Louis bit his lip. The tour was distracting him, distracting him from the fact that he was without Harry. But at the same time, it just reminded him how much that Harry wasn't there. He was putting on a brave face. When he was alone, he was writing songs. When he was with the boys, he was singing. It was a routine. But Harry was always on his mind. It was killing him. 

"Would be handling it a lot worse if I hadn't got my brother's with me." Louis said and Roman nodded as Liam nudged him with a grin. 

"You're going on a hiatus for a year is that right? Any reason why?" 

Just as Louis was about to answer his phone rang and Louis's heart beated quickly. His baby was about to be born any day now, and he'd know if Bri was put in labour or not. As he looked at his phone it was indeed, Bri. 

"Sorry, I need to take this" Louis spoke and Roman nodded as Louis answered. "Come to the hospital, my waters broke." She sounded tired and Louis couldn't hide his shock or smile. Nodding, he said, "I'll be right there darling." 

Hanging up, he then turned to the lads. "It's time." Niall jumped up with excitement and the others held themselves together as they stood too. 

"What do you mean it's time?" Roman asked and Louis completely forgot about him for a minute there. 

"You'll find out. We can't thank our fans enough. The reason why, well. You'll find out soon. That's all I can say. Sorry but we have to go. Now." Louis said urgently as they left the radio station. 

"One Direction everybody." Roman spoke and played one of their new songs, in shock. Out of all their interviews, that was the craziest one. For sure.   
End of flashback-

"Here, Louis. She fell asleep in my arms." Zayn whispered and Louis smiled fondly, taking Darcy back into his arms. He didn't need to look up to know Eddie was taking another picture. 

"Darcy, your Father would be very proud to have called you his daughter. I'm sorry you are never going to get to know him. But you have five amazing uncles that will protect you and love you forever. As will I." Louis spoke quietly as he rocked her back and forth. 

He will do anything to make her happy. To protect her with everything he has. Whatever the future had in store for them, he would take it. 

Unknown to them, a ghostly figure was watching the scene from the corner of the room with a proud look in their eyes and a look of sorrow and sadness. They had mixed emotions. Proud and happy for Louis but sad that he'll never meet his daughter. Sad that his friends and One Direction are moving on without him but happy because they're all together. Happy that Liam and Niall are engaged and happy that Zayn is still with the band. He's happy that the world has accepted Eddie, but sad that they've moved on. 

He felt like he had unfinished business. 

When Louis was left by himself, rocking their daughter, he stepped over and stoked her cheek, wiping away her tears. "I'll catch you." He whispered.

Harry stared. 

He had wiped away her tears. 

How could he have done, when he wasn't even here? 

What had the universe got in store for them?


	22. Ghost Of You - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone that reads this story! I'm really happy with it. It's also found on Wattpad, under my account @ShesCalLedJenifaH. I'm writing other works too that I might get round to posting. But for now, here's the epilogue! Tpwk xx

Darcy's POV -

Being the daughter of Louis Tomlinson-Styles was bittersweet. She had five uncles and the whole world was waiting to see what she turns out to be like. Was she going to be like her Dad, taking life the Tommo way? Or was she going to be like her other Dad, kind, always smiling, treating people with kindness? The songs that Harry had managed to record before he had died... Were; treat people with kindness, falling and to be so lonely. Louis and Eddie worked together to release the songs a few months after and before she was born. Since then their fans have referred to Harry as treat people with kindness and to Louis as doing it the Tommo way. Darcy often took it ttw. 

Still though, she was going to be the best of both worlds. 

There was something she hadn't told anyone. Something big. Something that would make her Dad freak out bit time. 

"Sweetheart, you're spacing out again. Focus on your singing." 

She nodded, and continued to sing one of Uncle Nialler's songs, put a little love on me. She had a beautiful voice for one so young. Though if one didn't know her, you could definitely hear the Doncaster accent through her talking and singing. 

When she finished, she smiled. That was the best one yet. She would be ready. "Did you hear me? I think that was really good!" She exclaimed as she turned to the man that was standing in the doorway to her room and he nodded with a proud look that only a Father would possess. 

"You know it was good, Darcy. Will you be ready for the voice tomorrow? You know your Father will be proud no matter what happens. So will I." He spoke and Darcy tried not to cry. 

"I know, Daddy. I know. Will you sit with me at dinner tonight? Grace will be here!" Darcy said happily and he shook his head, a distant, sad look in his eyes.

"I can't. I can't sit with you when Lou is... When he has you lot. You don't need me there." 

"Daddy-" 

"Darling! Uncle Niall and Uncle Liam are here!" She heard and when she looked back, her Dad had disappeared again. She never questioned it. She could always see him, she would always tell him about a new friend, how her uncles were doing, how she felt when she was judged by her teachers. When she was judged on social media. He was always there when she needed him and the fact that no one else could see him didn't matter to her. It was never a thought on her mind. 

She ran down the stairs, she had chosen to wear more of her Dad's style of clothes, which were trackies and hoodies and she only showed she could dress when they were out eating or taking pictures. Right now though she was in her Adidas tracksuit her Dad had given her for her birthday with her long dark curly hair that reached down to mid back put up in a pony tail. 

"Gracey!" Darcy cheered as she hugged her best friend tightly. They were a year apart and even though they weren't in the same school year they were never seen apart. 

"Darcy! C'mon, we need to talk!" Grace said and Darcy paused as Uncle Nialler and Uncle Payno walked in, she attacked them both with a hug. She had seen them yesterday but still, she was a hugger. So what? 

"Hey tommo junior, what was that for?" Niall questioned with a happy laugh and Darcy shrugged with a smile. "Felt like you needed it." She replied and she saluted in greeting to Uncle Liam who took it very seriously and saluted back to her. 

"Darcyyyy" Grace whined and Darcy smiled and blew a kiss to her Father who rolled his eyes fondly as she ran back up the stairs with Grace. 

"She takes after you so much." She heard and there was a laugh, "Perhaps too much." 

As they reached her room Grace collapsed on the bed. 

"I signed us up for football tryouts." 

Darcy's eyes widened. They both could easily make the girls team and Darcy had been practicing with being a mid fielder since she found out that's what her Daddy used to do before he came a singer. And the fact that her dad was also into football gave her all the more reason to be just as good as them both. 

"Why?" She pouted, "You know how the teacher's feel about me. Why would the coach be any different?" Even though she was only eight. She was smart. She knew how everyone felt about her. She knew. Even though her Dad had said it was non existent, that he didn't care as long as she was happy. Her Daddy had said the same thing. 

"Because he doesn't care as long as we're good at football." 

Darcy blinked. That was a good point. 

"Also, you'll need something else to do if singing doesn't work out." Grace joked and Darcy through a pillow at her best friend. 

"It'll work out." Darcy said confidently. 

Meanwhile, downstairs in the kitchen, Louis, Niall and Liam were having a well needed catch up. 

"She's singing on the kids voice tomorrow, one of the first auditions." Louis said, with a happy but nervous smile. 

"You know, Zayn said that Eddie was one of the judges this year. Since he was a judge on X-Factor last year, he decided to mix it up and go on the voice instead." Liam spoke and Louis blinked a few times, "Eddie better not say no to my daughter." 

That made Niall and Liam laugh. "We'll be watching. Grace won't want to watch anything else." 

"Do you know what she's going to sing? I bet she'll sing one of my songs " Liam said after a moment and Louis raised his eyebrows and smirked. 

"How much are you willing to bet? Because she will sing one of my songs for sure." Louis answered with an amused grin. 

"I think she'll sing a One Direction song, personally." Niall joined in. 

"Whoever looses buys us all drinks?" Liam questioned with a cheeky grin and Louis and Niall nodded. 

"You're on, bitch." 

"You're on, baby." 

It was then put in the group chat and the rest of the evening went by too quickly for Louis's liking. 

••• 

This was it. She walked out to the stage with a confident smile on her face, nerves gone as her Daddy was on stage with her, standing with the commentator. She was wearing a dark blue suit and a black bow tie with her long hair curled even more than usual. She had just a little bit of make up on and that was only foundation powder and lipgloss. 

This was her first performance as Harry and Louis's daughter. Her first public outing where she wanted to be seen and heard. And her Daddy was right there with her standing next to her Dad with identical expressions on their faces. She closed her eyes as Niall's note for the song came on. She never felt so at home. 

"We fight we get high holding on to love  
We came down 'cause there was nothing holding us  
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are  
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart

Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go  
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low  
Another Friday night tryna put on a show  
Do you hate the weekend  
'Cause nobody's calling  
I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin  
So darling"

She heard the cheers and clapping from the crowd as she started to move around and dance on the stage, unknowingly copying her Daddy's moves. 

"Put a little love on me  
Put a little love on me  
When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing  
I look around as my heart is collapsing  
'Cause you're the only one I need  
To put a little love on me

We wrote and we wrote  
Til there were no more words  
We laughed and we cried  
Until we saw our worst  
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are  
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart"

She calmed down a bit on the stage and focused on the audience, not realising that all three chairs had already turned for her. 

"Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go  
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low  
Another Friday night tryna put on a show  
Do you hate the weekend  
'Cause nobody's calling  
I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin  
Will someone

Put a little love on me  
Put a little love on me  
When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing  
I look around as my heart is collapsing  
'Cause you're the only one I need  
To put a little love on me"

She then put the mic back on the stand and closed her eyes once more as she let her emotion out for the end of the song. 

"Last night I lay awake  
Stuck on the things we say  
And when I close my eyes the first thing I hear you say is

Put a little love on me  
Put a little love on me  
When the lights come up we're the only ones dancing  
I look around and you're standing there asking  
You say, you're the only one I need  
So put your love on me

You're the only one I need  
Put your love on me"

The cheers from the crowd made her overwhelmed and she wiped her eyes to stop the tears from falling as the judges stood and clapped, while looking back at her Dad's who nodded at her, with proud looks in their eyes. 

"Let me just text the group chat, Darcy." Eddie spoke when they all calmed down and the two other judges, Alicia Keys and Rita Ora stared at him with questioning looks. "Everyone lost the bet. Liam, drinks are on you." He said outloud. "What, we didn't know what song she was going to sing." Eddie said like that explained everything. 

"What's your name, age and where are you from, is what we usually start with." Rita spoke and Darcy chuckled.

"I'm ten years old, from Doncaster and my name is Darcy Tomlinson-Styles" 

The audience cheered loudly and she tried not to show her nerves. 

"For one so young you have so much talent and potential, but with you your parents are, I'm not surprised how amazing you were." Rita said first and she glanced back at her father's who grinned and gave her thumbs up. The thing about the voice is that she was only judged on her voice. If she had gone on X-Factor or any other show, they would have seen who she was and judged her solely on that instead of her voice. This was why she liked the blind auditions. They turned without knowing who she was. 

"Thank you." Darcy spoke through the mic and it was Alicia's turn to speak. 

"Do you know your stage presence reminds me of your Dad, Harry?" Darcy stared, shocked. She shook her head. "I didn't know that." 

"Well, I'm sure he's very proud of you today. Though he would be jealous that you sung one of he's band mates songs and not one of his." She said and the crowd and Darcy laughed. 

"I tried, but it was too emotional for me to sing." Darcy admitted and she didn't know it then, but she was seen in her own person then, in her own light. Respected for her own thing, not because of who her Dad's were. But because she was herself. 

"Hello tommo junior. You doing alright?" Eddie asked and Darcy bit her lip and nodded. "I am, thanks Uncle Eddie." 

The crowd aww'ed. 

"That was perfect. Who's with you today?" 

"My Dad. My best friend Grace and our family are watching at home. Hi Gracey, Uncle Nialler. Uncle Liam." She said waving at one of the cameras and Eddie chuckled a long with the other judges. 

"So, thank you for opening the show with that audition. Who are you going to pick?" Eddie asked and the crowd started many shouts but Darcy had heard 'Eddie' the most. She glanced at her Dad's and they pointed at Eddie too. 

"Thank you for turning, all of you but I am going to have to go with..." She paused dramatically and Rita laughed, pointing at Eddie knowing that was who Darcy was going to go for. 

"Eddie Robyn." She spoke dramatically and she walked down to hug Eddie tightly and she hugged Rita and Alicia too. 

"Might I say I love your outfit, Darcy." Alicia said gushing and Darcy grinned brightly. "Thank you," 

"Harry would be proud," Eddie said as he walked off with her and Darcy ran up to her Dad as ran to her and the crowd cheered and screamed as the camera was focused on them. Eddie then hugged them both, 

"You take care of her or you'll be hearing from me." Louis spoke and Darcy rolled her eyes. "Dad, it's Eddie. I'll be fine." She said and Louis gave in and hugged her again as they walked off. 

"You did us both proud, Darcy." Her Dad said and she wiped a tear from her eye. 

"I felt like he was there with me, when I sang..." She said and Louis couldn't hold back a sob. "He'll always be with us." 

"Always, sweetheart." She heard her Daddy say and she opened her eyes as she saw Harry standing next to them with pride


End file.
